So tough Mary. It's all so alien, and something that will change us and everything in our lives forever, it's hard to fathom. I lost my mum last July 28th to lung cancer too. She only had it 6/7 weeks, it all happened so quickly, she was rushed to hospital too(but with chest pain) and never made it out. I want to talk to her and tell her things. Everything is always now so bittersweet as I can't tell her about it.

I'm dreading the next few weeks, as I go back to those times last year and the last times we had together. How the future will never have mum in it. I find it hard to comprehend and the thought of it physically hurts still. Like an elephant sitting on my chest. 

Its strange as I don't want the pain to go away as I then worry about forgetting her, new memories replacing old memories etc etc. I was talking to my sisters today about what we will do for mum on the 28th. I think a day of remembrance, remember what she stood for, what she liked and what she taught us in life etc. Obviously each for their own. I think it's important to talk though. I talk to mum all the time, and I talk about her all the time. That's how she'll live on for me. I think being strong for other people sometimes helps you keeps yourself together short term, but just make sure you take some time for you too. Have a cry together, talk about her. I tell people, family and friends that I'm having a tough day and missing mum all the time. I feel that's normal. I also empathise as I'm one to put on a brave face and pretend all is fine, as tbh, as other than my sisters, no one can really understand.

We can just take each day as it comes and do our best to carry on. 

So tough Mary. It's all so alien, and something that will change us and everything in our lives forever, it's hard to fathom. I lost my mum last July 28th to lung cancer too. She only had it 6/7 weeks, it all happened so quickly, she was rushed to hospital too(but with chest pain) and never made it out. I want to talk to her and tell her things. Everything is always now so bittersweet as I can't tell her about it.

I'm dreading the next few weeks, as I go back to those times last year and the last times we had together. How the future will never have mum in it. I find it hard to comprehend and the thought of it physically hurts still. Like an elephant sitting on my chest. 

Its strange as I don't want the pain to go away as I then worry about forgetting her, new memories replacing old memories etc etc. I was talking to my sisters today about what we will do for mum on the 28th. I think a day of remembrance, remember what she stood for, what she liked and what she taught us in life etc. Obviously each for their own. I think it's important to talk though. I talk to mum all the time, and I talk about her all the time. That's how she'll live on for me. I think being strong for other people sometimes helps you keeps yourself together short term, but just make sure you take some time for you too. Have a cry together, talk about her. I tell people, family and friends that I'm having a tough day and missing mum all the time. I feel that's normal. I also empathise as I'm one to put on a brave face and pretend all is fine, as tbh, as other than my sisters, no one can really understand.

We can just take each day as it comes and do our best to carry on. 

Hi lisab7,

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. It is horrible as you feel your are reliving everyday again as last year. I thought it would get easier but this week has been so bad. Everyday I am always thinking of her but this week I feel like someone has taken some more of me.

My dad is about a 2-3 hour drive from us, so I am planning to go up there on the 6/7th July, so he isn't on his own. I am hoping we don't have another lock down which will prevent this!. I started a memory box last year for my mum, so I will probably take that with us and go through and remembering the good times :).

i try to talk to my brothers and dad but I don't want to upset them. My husband doesn't fully understand and sometimes asks why I am getting upset. Don't get me wrong he has been very supportive but I suppose it is hard to really understand the pain unless you have been through it. I feel like people expect me to be ok now and I can't talk to them about it. 

I am very thankful for you taking the time to read this and get back to me as I know it must be hard for you especially as it is coming up to a year for you too. Like you say take everyday as it comes.