I can't live without my dad - anyone feel the same?

Hi everyone,

 

My father died almost 6 months ago. He was my best friend, my soulmate, my inspiration, my confidant, basically the love of my life. I will never love anyone that way again. He was my other half. We communicated almost every single day in some way (although I have regrets about how I handled this, which I may share another time). The point, though, is this:

 

I don't think I can live without him.

 

He meant more to me than life itself. He was my oxygen, my sunshine, my everything. He was the most remarkable and wonderful human being I have ever known (and will ever know). Every day now I have the pain of realising that he won't ever be with me again. I'm writing this post for one reason: to find other people who feel the same or at least similar.

 

Here are some things that I have NOT found helpful:

 

- People telling me to think about "what he would have wanted". Yes, of course he would have wanted me to go on and live my life. But I don't see how I can live a happy life without him.

 

- People telling me that things "get better in time." Maybe they do, maybe they don't. For some people they actually don't. Some people never recover from the loss of a loved one. He wasn't just a "loved one." He was EVERYTHING to me. And now I have the rest of my life to be WITHOUT him.

 

My love for my father was deeper and more intense than anything else I've ever known. Life feels completely meaningless without him. I have no interest in starting my own family; no interest in meeting somebody; no interest in connecting with others. Without my father in my life, those things don't mean anything to me.

 

The ONLY thing I want is to be with my father again - to wrap my arms around him and never let go. I've never felt love from anyone the way I did from him. He showered me with warmth and love.

 

Does anyone feel the same? 

 

Adam

 

 

  • Yes, they have been good so far and hoping this will continue for a long time to come, as I think im going to need it.

  • We have just been told my Mum has weeks/months to live and I’m absolutely devastated. Up until Friday we knew nothing.
    we live and do everything together and have the best times and I can’t imagine what life will be like without her. I don’t have my own family through choice/it’s just not happened or sibblings and lost my dad when I was 20, so I will be left in our house all on my own. I do have family nearby and friends but it just won’t be the same. I don’t know what to do with myself. I hope I will be able to cope. 

  • I just had to say thank you for the advice you have given.

    We have just been told my Mum has weeks/months to live and I’m absolutely devastated. Up until Friday we knew nothing.
    we live and do everything together and have the best times and I can’t imagine what life will be like without her. I don’t have my own family through choice/it’s just not happened or sibblings and lost my dad when I was 20, so I will be left in our house all on my own. I do have family nearby and friends but it just won’t be the same. I don’t know what to do with myself. I hope I will be able to cope and your words have gone a little way to help.

  • My friend is in a similar position to yourself. She lives at home, & her brother who also lived at home passed away a few years ago. Her dad passed two weeks after mine, and when her mother goes she is on her own.   Take care. And again I am really sorry.

  • Thank you for your reply!! It is devastating, but I know I need to be strong for my mum and live a life she would want me to!! It’s just hard to see that when you are just so sad all the time!! It helps a little to know I am not the only one.

  • I am so very sorry for your loss.

    All I can offer is a massive virtual hug and my best wishes.

  • God I feel exactly the same and it is killing me inside. 
    my Dad has end of life renal failure sorry that’s the difference. I catch myself when I remember he’s actually leaving the world and the panic is such I can’t breathe. I am terrified. He’s my world. Please help me.