I can't live without my dad - anyone feel the same?

Hi everyone,

 

My father died almost 6 months ago. He was my best friend, my soulmate, my inspiration, my confidant, basically the love of my life. I will never love anyone that way again. He was my other half. We communicated almost every single day in some way (although I have regrets about how I handled this, which I may share another time). The point, though, is this:

 

I don't think I can live without him.

 

He meant more to me than life itself. He was my oxygen, my sunshine, my everything. He was the most remarkable and wonderful human being I have ever known (and will ever know). Every day now I have the pain of realising that he won't ever be with me again. I'm writing this post for one reason: to find other people who feel the same or at least similar.

 

Here are some things that I have NOT found helpful:

 

- People telling me to think about "what he would have wanted". Yes, of course he would have wanted me to go on and live my life. But I don't see how I can live a happy life without him.

 

- People telling me that things "get better in time." Maybe they do, maybe they don't. For some people they actually don't. Some people never recover from the loss of a loved one. He wasn't just a "loved one." He was EVERYTHING to me. And now I have the rest of my life to be WITHOUT him.

 

My love for my father was deeper and more intense than anything else I've ever known. Life feels completely meaningless without him. I have no interest in starting my own family; no interest in meeting somebody; no interest in connecting with others. Without my father in my life, those things don't mean anything to me.

 

The ONLY thing I want is to be with my father again - to wrap my arms around him and never let go. I've never felt love from anyone the way I did from him. He showered me with warmth and love.

 

Does anyone feel the same? 

 

Adam

 

 

  • It's now 5 weeks since my dad passed, but it is still as hard to cope with. My friend lost her dad 2 weeks after mine. Do you have close family or friends to lean on.? People can sympathise but you need to go through it to really understand. Take care of yourself.

  • I feel exactly the same Adam, with my mum, it's been 18 months.. And it's currently 2am and I feel like hell. It's been so hard and there's been so many different levels of grief it's exhausting. But as you say I have always and still do feel like I can't exist without her. Please do direct message me if you feel up to it I'd be happy to talk, even if it's to share memories of your dad, I know how much you'll want to shout from the rooftops how amazing he was. How he had his tea or coffee. His favourite meal. I'm all ears, it's the only way to keep that memory alive. Just know you're not alone in this, xxx

  • Hi there. The 22nd of this month is 44 yrs since my mother passed away.  So I'm missing both parents. I have a daughter and I find since my dad died 6 weeks ago, I have been worried I'm going to loose her too. I find everywhere I go it's seems to bring back memories of my dad, and I've been thinking of my late mother as we!!. My friend lost her dad 2 weeks after mine, and from the same condition.  I wish I was a strong person but I'm not.  I still can't sleep properly since my dad died.. If you ever want to talk you know where I am as well. Take care of yourself.

  • Hi There. On the 22nd of this month it will be 44 yrs since my mother passed away. It's now 6 weeks since my dad passed away. I worry I'm going to loose my daughter as well, and she worries about losing me too. Today would of been my parents wedding anniversary, they would of been married for 65 years,  If  you want to talk just get in touch. Take care of yourself.

  • I know your post is really old, but I feel the same. I lost my dad 13 months ago, the only thing that makes me keep going is my son, even then I think he's young enough to forget about me (28 months), so if there is anything after this lift, I could go and be with my dad. Did it get better for you?

  • It's now 3 months for my dad passing.  My friend took her life 11yrs ago, & I saw how it effected her friends & family, & my dad would want me to go on for my daughter's sake if nothing else. Even though your son is little it will impact on his life if you were not here. I have consulted a number of mediums, some good, some bad. Myself & my daughter saw my dad's face in the car windscreen, & tv screen, the day he died. He promised me if there was life after death, he would let me know. The best mediums are in Reddit, if you want to try to make contact with your dad. I am stil! Struggling, but hope things get better. I too hope I will see my parents one day. Take care of yourselves. 

  • I know this is an old post but I feel very much like you!!

    We have just been told my Mum has weeks/months to live and I’m absolutely devastated. Up until Friday we knew nothing.
    we live and do everything together and have the best times and I can’t imagine what life will be like without her. I don’t have my own family through choice/it’s just not happened, so I will be left in our house all on my own. I do have family nearby and friends but it just won’t be the same. I don’t know what to do with myself. Will I be able to cope?

  • My dad had Mesothelioma, which is really just another term for Asbestosis. I know what it is like to know a parent is going to die. My late mother was a stroke sufferer.  I have my daughter, which is a great comfort. I lived with my parents too. We are both having therapy.  I am still struggling really badly with the loss of my wonderful dad, & I am grieving all over again for my equally wonderfu mam.. I hope you get through the loss of your mother when she goes. Take care

  • Thank you so much for your reply, it does make you feel like you’re not the only one!!

    So lovely to have your daughter as support.

    yes I thought I might see someone about it when it happens.

    I am so sorry for your losses!! Life can be so cruel!!

    I hope the therapy works and you too get through this.

    thanks again for your reply

  • I hope friends & family will support you. Take care of yourself.