I can't live without my dad - anyone feel the same?

Hi everyone,

 

My father died almost 6 months ago. He was my best friend, my soulmate, my inspiration, my confidant, basically the love of my life. I will never love anyone that way again. He was my other half. We communicated almost every single day in some way (although I have regrets about how I handled this, which I may share another time). The point, though, is this:

 

I don't think I can live without him.

 

He meant more to me than life itself. He was my oxygen, my sunshine, my everything. He was the most remarkable and wonderful human being I have ever known (and will ever know). Every day now I have the pain of realising that he won't ever be with me again. I'm writing this post for one reason: to find other people who feel the same or at least similar.

 

Here are some things that I have NOT found helpful:

 

- People telling me to think about "what he would have wanted". Yes, of course he would have wanted me to go on and live my life. But I don't see how I can live a happy life without him.

 

- People telling me that things "get better in time." Maybe they do, maybe they don't. For some people they actually don't. Some people never recover from the loss of a loved one. He wasn't just a "loved one." He was EVERYTHING to me. And now I have the rest of my life to be WITHOUT him.

 

My love for my father was deeper and more intense than anything else I've ever known. Life feels completely meaningless without him. I have no interest in starting my own family; no interest in meeting somebody; no interest in connecting with others. Without my father in my life, those things don't mean anything to me.

 

The ONLY thing I want is to be with my father again - to wrap my arms around him and never let go. I've never felt love from anyone the way I did from him. He showered me with warmth and love.

 

Does anyone feel the same? 

 

Adam

 

 

Parents
  • Hi bras1548,

    I’m very sorry to read what you’re going through at the moment. I know there’s perhaps not much I can say to help, and it sounds like you’re most keen to hear from others who have been through something similar, but I just wanted to reply to say there is always support available if you want or need it.

    That can be from us on this forum, friends and family, or professional support such as that offered by Cruse. Sometimes it can also be helpful to talk things through with a counsellor, who is neutral and can listen to you and offer guidance to help you to best deal with what you’re going through.

    Hopefully others will be along here soon to offer further thoughts. As I say, we’re always here for support.

    Wishing you all the best,

    Ben
    Cancer Chat Moderator

  • I know your post is really old, but I feel the same. I lost my dad 13 months ago, the only thing that makes me keep going is my son, even then I think he's young enough to forget about me (28 months), so if there is anything after this lift, I could go and be with my dad. Did it get better for you?

Reply Children
  • It's now 3 months for my dad passing.  My friend took her life 11yrs ago, & I saw how it effected her friends & family, & my dad would want me to go on for my daughter's sake if nothing else. Even though your son is little it will impact on his life if you were not here. I have consulted a number of mediums, some good, some bad. Myself & my daughter saw my dad's face in the car windscreen, & tv screen, the day he died. He promised me if there was life after death, he would let me know. The best mediums are in Reddit, if you want to try to make contact with your dad. I am stil! Struggling, but hope things get better. I too hope I will see my parents one day. Take care of yourselves.