Hi there,

I'm so sorry you're having to experience it. I wish nobody had to experience it. I'm glad my post helped a little bit, but of course I understand that there's nothing that can come even close to making up for the loss. I hope you find a way through,

A

I feel the same just lost my dad to cancer 5 week's ago. He was my best mate & I don't get on with the rest of my family. It's going take us both a long time unfortunately I'm starting counselling soon hope it's help's, maybe so just think about

Really sorry to hear about that. And I hope counselling does help.

My dad passed away in 2020. I'm still in the same headspace you are, it's hard. I was there when he passed, and I'll never get over it. It still hurts. I've been informed I should talk about it, and that it gets better. I'm not ready for that conversation. At some point I will go to counselling, I would recommend it when your ready. And telling someone it gets better well that doesn't help, certainly doesn't for me. All I can say is you have to keep yourself busy, the pain of it never goes away. Just don't let it consume you, you need to try and live your life; it's easier said than done. I wish you all the best, just take it a day at a time Xx

I am very sorry to hear that. You have my deepest sympathies.

I do try to keep busy but the loss, grief and emptiness are always there. My soul was taken away. I've never loved anything or anyone the way I loved my father and (compared to him) nobody/nothing really means anything to me. I've tried counselling multiple times. In fact, I've been through 6 counsellors. It didn't help in the least. They didn't have a clue. That doesn't mean it can't work, though. If you're lucky enough to find a great counsellor, I'm sure it can be helpful.

I hope you find your own way through too

Hi,

I felt the same too.  I also did various activities with my dad. Eg fishing, walks, bike rides, he'd help me learn to drive, encouraged me with my art. All sorts of things. He was just there. Even supporting me through my cancer.

But when he visited the hospital, where I worked at the time, for an xray, I just knew something was wrong. Dad was never ill.

A little later I had to file reports with xrays and came across his. I read the report and found he had terminal cancer (I still question why I survived and he didn't). I couldn't take this news home and it was heartbreaking to watch his decline. Sadly he passed away just months after the visit for the xray.

It was eerie. Strange. I felt incredibly lost. Like I'd lost my leader. I didn't know how to move forward.  I had mum but not dad and had them both up to then, it was unreal. 

I understand what you mean when people say "he'd want you to be happy" etc . Yes we want to live on with our dad's,  to experience life events with them and make memories. We have memories but we can't make any more with them. This hurts.

When I go to my mum's home (where dad was too) I get feeling I've just missed him, eg I've arrived and he's just popped out.

You are not alone in feeling like this. 

My dad died nearly 16 years ago now but everything still feels raw and painful and it doesn't take much to set me off to want him back.  I have siblings but they and mum don't get it when I get as upset as I do, especially on dad's birthday or anniversary.

When mum's time comes I really don't want to go through this as it will bring all this back again. But it is still dad I want to be with and have the long chats with again. 

Liz618

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I wish you could have those chats with your dad again. I really hope you're managing to find even a tiny bit of happiness despite the loss.

Hi, Sorry I don,t know your name, I lost my wonderful brave Daddy last November and I have cut myself off from everything and also fallen out with family (its complicated) so doing this alone has been too hard to explain, my Daddy and me were so close and on the same wavelength most of the time, he took me on many fantastic holidays which I have great memories of but I don,t want memories I just want my Dad back  but thats ridiculous to say that, sending a huge big hug to you and we must help each other through this

Hi there i know this was avwhile when you wrote this but i can so relate

How are you doing now ?? I hope that life is slightly easier for you than you posted a couple of years back.

I too have lost my dad and i completly understabd that feeling and knowing you had this amaxing connection that no one can compete with. 

It hurts bad. I loved my dad dearly and like yoi i lnow that no man could ever compare to the man he was. 

He too was my soulmate. In the fact we did not even have to speak we just understood each other. 

He was thw most sensitive guy witn a real gentle soul. Who i loved witb all my heart. 

He had what i call true empathy. 

The funny thimg was most people only seen his moodiness and his silly oitboutsts bur i onew that this was only due to his upset of losing mum and jist feelimg at a loss what to do. He was a scared vurnable man in the end and if i cpuld do my life differntly i would be with him reasutimg him that i loved him and that he had nothing to worty about. 

I did this but i dont think as much as i would have liked to because i had a atentiion seeking partner. 

But honestly out of all the peoole in the workd my dad was the most genuine amd caring man i have ever met. He will always mean the wotld to me 

Its coming up for his one yrar of hos death this Friday honrstly if i could have done anything to save him i would he means the world to me and always will