I can't live without my dad - anyone feel the same?

Hi everyone,

 

My father died almost 6 months ago. He was my best friend, my soulmate, my inspiration, my confidant, basically the love of my life. I will never love anyone that way again. He was my other half. We communicated almost every single day in some way (although I have regrets about how I handled this, which I may share another time). The point, though, is this:

 

I don't think I can live without him.

 

He meant more to me than life itself. He was my oxygen, my sunshine, my everything. He was the most remarkable and wonderful human being I have ever known (and will ever know). Every day now I have the pain of realising that he won't ever be with me again. I'm writing this post for one reason: to find other people who feel the same or at least similar.

 

Here are some things that I have NOT found helpful:

 

- People telling me to think about "what he would have wanted". Yes, of course he would have wanted me to go on and live my life. But I don't see how I can live a happy life without him.

 

- People telling me that things "get better in time." Maybe they do, maybe they don't. For some people they actually don't. Some people never recover from the loss of a loved one. He wasn't just a "loved one." He was EVERYTHING to me. And now I have the rest of my life to be WITHOUT him.

 

My love for my father was deeper and more intense than anything else I've ever known. Life feels completely meaningless without him. I have no interest in starting my own family; no interest in meeting somebody; no interest in connecting with others. Without my father in my life, those things don't mean anything to me.

 

The ONLY thing I want is to be with my father again - to wrap my arms around him and never let go. I've never felt love from anyone the way I did from him. He showered me with warmth and love.

 

Does anyone feel the same? 

 

Adam

 

 

Parents
  • My dad passed away in 2020. I'm still in the same headspace you are, it's hard. I was there when he passed, and I'll never get over it. It still hurts. I've been informed I should talk about it, and that it gets better. I'm not ready for that conversation. At some point I will go to counselling, I would recommend it when your ready. And telling someone it gets better well that doesn't help, certainly doesn't for me. All I can say is you have to keep yourself busy, the pain of it never goes away. Just don't let it consume you, you need to try and live your life; it's easier said than done. I wish you all the best, just take it a day at a time Xx

  • I am very sorry to hear that. You have my deepest sympathies.

    I do try to keep busy but the loss, grief and emptiness are always there. My soul was taken away. I've never loved anything or anyone the way I loved my father and (compared to him) nobody/nothing really means anything to me. I've tried counselling multiple times. In fact, I've been through 6 counsellors. It didn't help in the least. They didn't have a clue. That doesn't mean it can't work, though. If you're lucky enough to find a great counsellor, I'm sure it can be helpful.

    I hope you find your own way through too

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  • I am very sorry to hear that. You have my deepest sympathies.

    I do try to keep busy but the loss, grief and emptiness are always there. My soul was taken away. I've never loved anything or anyone the way I loved my father and (compared to him) nobody/nothing really means anything to me. I've tried counselling multiple times. In fact, I've been through 6 counsellors. It didn't help in the least. They didn't have a clue. That doesn't mean it can't work, though. If you're lucky enough to find a great counsellor, I'm sure it can be helpful.

    I hope you find your own way through too

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