Hi adam we have spoken before some months ago sucks dosnt it .i wonder how your poor mums getting on she will be suffering the most hope your supporting her may take your pain away a bit doing that . Loosing a parant real realy hurts but loosing a husband or wife i can tell you did you is the pits did you get any   any counciling certainly sounds like you need it you may have had a bit of a breakdown with the stress of it all ime not a dr or anything but ive lost both parants the love of my life and a grandson so i know how it is we tend to grieve for ourselves the we grieve for our loved ones  its hard i know but it does get easier . But your poor mum this she will never get over it my best wishs p

Hi Paulus - it's tough for my mum of course. Awful, in fact. However, she wasn't anywhere near as close to my dad as I was. He wasn't her soulmate the way he was mine. She's actually picked herself up very well and is managing to get on with things in a way that I have not been able to emulate. You might have expected the reverse - the spouse (who's spent most of her adult life with the man) should be the one who finds it "impossible" to get over, who no longer sees any purpose in life etc. But that's not how it is. My mother's attitude (which is the right one) is: "We should now make the most of OUR lives." I admire her tremendously. I only wish I had the same interest in life. Right now, I don't.

By the way, don't think for one minute that I'm assuming everything is rosy in her world. It isn't. She has her low moments. She misses my dad. She has regrets. But overall she's getting on with things in a way that I have not been able to do (so far).

Hi Paulus - it's tough for my mum of course. Awful, in fact. However, she wasn't anywhere near as close to my dad as I was. He wasn't her soulmate the way he was mine. She's actually picked herself up very well and is managing to get on with things in a way that I have not been able to emulate. You might have expected the reverse - the spouse (who's spent most of her adult life with the man) should be the one who finds it "impossible" to get over, who no longer sees any purpose in life etc. But that's not how it is. My mother's attitude (which is the right one) is: "We should now make the most of OUR lives." I admire her tremendously. I only wish I had the same interest in life. Right now, I don't.

By the way, don't think for one minute that I'm assuming everything is rosy in her world. It isn't. She has her low moments. She misses my dad. She has regrets. But overall she's getting on with things in a way that I have not been able to do (so far).

Well shakespear said the worlds a stage and all the the people are actors we all put on acts maybe your mum is anyway maybe a bit of counciling might help you it did me ime a tough bloke if you knew what ive been therough this last year ime sure you would agree but you would never know it if you met me .youl get through it all with you being so close to your dad it may take a lot longer buts theres lots of help out there for you just need to ask a trip to gp maybe show him your post from here ime sure he will help ive put posts on to otheres about life and death is not the end theres a huge post on here sarapine8 put on theres many put there experiances on have a read it may give you some comfort you will know if you where so close to your dad ime sure he would want you to get on with your life ime a dad and grandad thats what i would want ok maybe a bit of sadness but not what your going through best wishs paul

I wish you all the best on your journey too