Mum - feel bad for not being able to keep her wishes

I lost my mum to ovarian cancer, long before she was diagnosed she always said once she died she wanted to be with me in an urn in my living room. When mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer she kept saying don’t forget when I’m gone I want to be with you in a lovely urn in your living room. Myself and my dad collected my mums ashes 4 weeks ago and my dad asked to keep her for the night and I said he needs to keep her for a bit, now it’s turned into he’s keeping her ashes but I’m feeling so bad that I haven’t kept to her wishes and have her with me. I understand why my dad wants her at home with him but that doesn’t stop me feeling like I haven’t gone ahead with my mums wishes.  A little support is what I need, am I doing the right thing going against what my mum wanted

Parents
  • Hiya

    So sorry for the loss of your mum.

    I lost my husband Matt in March from pancreatic cancer .

    I wanted to take and scatter his ashes in Dalyan, Turkey as we loved it there and his family, including his very sick and elderly mum, wanted to scatter them in Dymchurch where they spent many happy childhood holidays.

    I was  more than happy to split the ashes with them, which we did, andI know Matt would have been happy and would have approved as he loved me and his mum so much he would have wanted to make us both happy. I fact, Matt was such a funny and positive man, he would have probably laughed that he was having two holidays this year.

    In all all seriousness, maybe consider splitting them and she will be with you both all of the time which is lovely.

    All the best x

     

     

Reply
  • Hiya

    So sorry for the loss of your mum.

    I lost my husband Matt in March from pancreatic cancer .

    I wanted to take and scatter his ashes in Dalyan, Turkey as we loved it there and his family, including his very sick and elderly mum, wanted to scatter them in Dymchurch where they spent many happy childhood holidays.

    I was  more than happy to split the ashes with them, which we did, andI know Matt would have been happy and would have approved as he loved me and his mum so much he would have wanted to make us both happy. I fact, Matt was such a funny and positive man, he would have probably laughed that he was having two holidays this year.

    In all all seriousness, maybe consider splitting them and she will be with you both all of the time which is lovely.

    All the best x

     

     

Children
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