Hi ime know dr or anything but have you tryed mindfulness course i went .for cbt its a load of rubbish they tell you what things are not why they are .i found out its your flyt or fight mecanism out of wack . I had iregular heart beat its its amazing what stress can do .you shouldnt have been having to look after your dad he should have been looking after you its amazing what damage alcoholics can do to there family you need to write down in a diary the triggers . You will not beleive this but when someone dies there partner can get what the call broken heart sindrome it changes the shape of your heart thats why so many husbands or wives die shortly after its stress . The body releases stress chemicals its treatable . I had all sorts and its always caused by worrying about someone else . Do you feel guilty because you couldnt save your dad from cancer i felt that can cause problems you litraly have to canstantly telling yourself theres nothin wrong its stress say it out loud to yourself its like brainwashing yourself we talk to ouselves all the time in our our mind why did i do that should do this what should i make for tea ive learned theres tiffrent facets in aur brains its all about convincing that bit that talks back they call it the inner critic its stopped being you friend and its punnishing you you just have to retrain it then it will stop your brain from releasing cortisol noradrenalin the flyt chemicals that cause the anxiaty . Just keep at it we all get rashes and pains but we tell ouselves o its just dry skin and our inner critic beleives us .in your case it dosnt it just keeps coming back at you . I think we have spoken beforee nicola i know how anxiaty can make your life missery best wishs

If I had read your post 3 years ago I would have had no idea what you were talking about.  However I lost my mum to cancer two years ago. Since then I have gone from being someone who never goes to the doctor to someone who has been to the GPs14 times, A and E 3 times and seen consultants in the following fields ENT, Colon, lung, heart and neurology.  At one point was a rational human being. But no longer it seems.  I can even date when it started 1 week before her funeral.  Palpitations head rushes, stomach pains gut problems, episodes where I can't breath.  Totally crazy stuff.  When I write it down I realise it's basically knocked out two years of my life.  You are not alone.  Stu 

Hi [@Nicole37]‍ 

Reading your story is identical to what I feel like I am currently going through. I lost my mum 4 months ago to cancer after a long battle. She was my absolute best friend and I was her biggest support throughout. 

Since she passed I have had a dull ache in my back (lower left). Had an ultrasound scan but all seems ok. It comes and goes. Then my left arm started aching about 1.5 months ago, it came and went but is more persistent now. Then my left shoulder is hurting these last few days and today my entire neck. Also accompanied by dizzy spells every few days. Oh and my left thigh aches every other day or so. I too am finding it hard to know what is real and what is anxiety.

I have a Dr appointment next week but constantly thinking I have cancer depending on where the pain is that day. But always on the left side of my body. I have a different self diagnosis every week. My husband is finding it hard to support me. 

I am also starting counselling next week.

How are you doing? Have your symptoms settled? 

Hope your well x

Hi Emmty

I got an email notification to say there has been a reply to my post.

I am so sorry to hear you have lost your mum.

It has been about 2 years since my original post. Quite sad reading it back as I can sense how desperate I was for help. So hopefully I have something helpful to say.

I was the same as you. Pains everywhere, it could be leg one day, back the next. It was exhausting to keep up with! I'd self diagnose daily. 

Looking back now to when I posted in 2020 i realise how bad my mental health was with anxiety. It really is a crippling condition. At the time I posted my health anxiety was at its worst (have been suffering with it for around 6 years now). Some of the issues I was facing back then such as nerve pains etc I have only in the last few months finally been seen to be tested for as there was such long delays with covid.

My neurologist sent me for back MRI and also an electrical test to check my nerves in arms and legs because of the numbness and tingling I'd been getting all over on and off. All tests normal.

Iv just recently had an ultrasound on my neck and jaw for what I was convinved was lymph node pains that iv been having for 18 months at least.... Ultrasound normal.

Had 2 x ultrasounds in last 6 months on my left Underarm. The first showed a normal enlarged node then I started to feel aching further up my Underarm so paid privately to have the 2nd done. Both ultrasounds were normal.

Honestly looking back I'm sure most of these pains and sensations were caused by my anxiety. They must have been as most subsided after I got scans done and told results were normal. It might sound silly but it really made me appreciate how powerful the mind is! I have now been diagnosed officially with fibro myalgia but I really don't think I have this, I think my only issue is anxiety. 

My health anxiety (touch wood) has been under control mostly over the last year. I do still get thoughts creeping in regularly of what if this pain I'm feeling is something sinister, but I have put a lot of effort into learning how to deal with these thoughts so that they don't consume me and take over My life anymore.

The only things I have found to work in all these years of living with health anxiety is mindfulness and breathing techniques. Search YouTube for mindfulness to cope with anxiety. I used to read recommendations about this sort of thing and I'd roll my eyes, but here I am all these years later and it is the only thing that has worked for me! You could ask your Councillor about mindfullness, lots are trained in this now!

What age are you if you don't mind me asking? I'm in my 30s. My husband didn't know how to deal with me when mine was at its peak. He still doesn't understand it. Im sure he just thinks I'm a stereotypical hypochondriac...i think when it's triggered by watching someone so close to you dying of a disease like this it goes so much deeper than that, but I accept he can't understand as he hasn't been through it. 

It takes time but you will find ways to overcome this anxiety. It is a lot to cope with ontop of the loss of your mum. x

Good evening,

Gosh it's brought me to tears knowing that others are experiencing what I'm going through, and especially that you seem to be through the worst. I'm also trying for my second baby so this is definitely not helping us conceive!

I am 33, I have a 4 year old and just feel so guilty that I'm not 'present' fully when I'm with her as I'm always worrying. But like OCD worrying that is consuming. And the exhaustion! Did you feel abnormally tired? Again, I worry this is something sinister as always listed as a symptom of the C word. 

I will look into mindfulness for sure and mention it to the counselor. 

Thank you so much for replying, it means A LOT 

Yes fatigue is the one thing which has never really left me and is still there almost daily...i am a born worrier and do still get worried and anxious about other things so I have just learned to accept fatigue is part of me now and allow myself to have slower days when I'm feeling very tired. I have a 6 year old and a 2 year old. I was pregnant with my 6 year old the first time trying but that was before this HA kicked in, then with my second it took 8 months or so. I have felt and still do sometimes all the same guilt as you mention about not being fully there with my girls, there are days I struggle with basic household tasks.

I am 34 so we are very similar ages.

You have been through a big trauma losing your mum to cancer. It wasn't until over a year after my dad died that I realised the enormity of it all. It is so hard. You are doing a great thing by starting counselling. I did it via the hospice and the lady I got was brilliant. She really helped me in the aftermath. It wasnt until a few years later i actively looked for someone who specialised in health anxiety. I found a great lady who did appointments via zoom. She has worked in senior positions in NHS mental health care and herself has suffered health anxiety so she was really helpful. She was the one who introduced some mindfulness based approaches to me. 

Post here anytime, or if there is the option to private message anytime. It helps to have someone to talk to x