Gosh so early theres t lady going through the same maybe you would both like to share with her it helps to at least your not alone my oartner died 15 months ago so i know the agony your going through and ime so sorry would you like to tell us what happend ?? There will be otheres come on but its late i suffer insomnia and dont want you to think no onea listening as like the other lady your very important and you have come to the right place for support you know you can ring the samartians if you want to hear a kind human voice there there for everyone i used them a lot at the beginning especialy late at night when it hurts the most .theres cruse bereavment helpline mc.millan there frephone numbers just ring and tell them your struggling and they will take over.paul 

Hiya sorry to here about your husband my partner of 22 years died 7 dec after a year and a half fighting stomachs cancer. I to took him to the hospital to have his stomachs drained he didn’t get out again until the fri only because we wanted him home he died sat morning. Like you christmas is over for me I no exactly how you feel can’t seem to do anything. If you need to talk at anytime am here maybe we can get through this together. 

Terri

Hi Paul  my husband was diagnosed in March 2016 he had been suffering with back ache been to doctors quite a lot ,then on 3 /3/2016 he was admitted by ambulance but sent home nxt day then early hours on 5/3/2016 rushed in by ambulance bearing in mind he walked into ambulance,it was my daughters 12 birthday. Went to see him in hospital his body was jerking crazy then stopped it came apparent he's was paralysed from then on from chest down ,so in 12hrs he was paralysed we then found out the course which was multiple myeloma.this caused other issues due to mobility issues he had Chemo radiotherapy then rehabilitations came home September 2016 are lives changed overnight this was the beginning over the 3 1/2 years he had many health issue s sepsis twice plus other life threatening problems.Then on New Years eve2019 cancer had returned he then had more chemo for six months with complications along the way,then went into remission again for 3 mths then started complaining of pain in arm this got worse then on my birthday 14 nov he couldn't take it anymore so I decided to do something about asked our palliative nurse for help took him to hospice for pain relief ,then we had mri scan cancer was in neck shoulder of spine and there was a tumour in neck  from there on it was 17 days till he passed away. I feel like been through hell and back keep playing it all over what could of been done differently. So heartbroken we were surposed to grow old together  xxxx

I would like the support yes we could get through it together our plan was for him to be home but because of severity of his neck wasn't possible .i go through everything that's happened in the last month and still can't believe he's gone please read what I posted on Paul's post which will give you the whole background to what happened as it hurts every time I talk about it. I have started getting rid of chairs etc that's so hard as they have to be returned, feels like I am removing him but I know they need to go back. I would rather Xmas go away so not doing Xmas dinner tree feel quite numb it's doesn't feel real the funeral was really hard everyone else life goes back to normal while mine in limbo and don't know my future xx

I no exactly how you feel my funeral was yesterday it was so hard didn’t think I’d be able to do it. It still feels like a dream can’t believe he’s gone like you I don’t no what the future will be as thought we’d be together can’t imagine being on my own. How old are your children how are coping can’t imagine what there going through and you having to be strong for them when you feel lost yourself 

My children are 15 17 23 my 23 yrs old lives and works in oxford so unfortunately can't be here a lot,the other two one in last year of high school gcse time other started 6th form both on nxt path don't think it's hit them still. We were together 18 1/2 years 16 1/2 married as I have been mainly housewife then full time carer I am scared to think I now have to go out into work place as not academic myself I am more a hands on person . I just don't know which way I want my life to go. I know everyone says time but like you I struggle for tomorrow at moment,sleeping is horrible nights and days feel so long. Do you have children?  As Xmas is nearly here kids will be around more I think when January comes and everything gets some sort of a pattern I can't help wonder what will I be doing. But for now I just try day by day xx

Yeh I have a daughter who is 32 now I also have to grandchildren one 15 the other 8 the 15 year old was really close to her grandad and is really upset they stay a bit away from me so am on my own at home. I do work but can’t face going back yet everyone all happy getting ready for Christmas when it’s the last thing I want. Am like you won’t be doing Christmas this year or any year now as it won’t be the same. What part of the country do you live do you have family near you who can help when you need a shoulder to cry on 

Hi there sorry you have myeloma I can tell you for sure make the most of life and enjoy. My husband warning signs where all missed from higher blood levels and pain because of his age.it was extreme by far but if caught earlier he could of had stem cell treatment but this was not an option due to paralysis so snatched away .keep positive and keep fighting xxx

I live in Merseyside my dad is really surportive and brother but still find myself on my own a lot.we had a mobility's car which will go soon . So need a car as well but being full time carer were all the benefits were in husbands name,I now have to claim in my own right going through benefit system it's a mind field as don't know what we have to live on,so husband ,dad,gone and you have to now deal with Diana coal issues to it's so hard coping xxxx