Hi i think maybe its delaid grief we try to be strong for othere but it just delays the grief . There will be a local hospice in your earea give them a ring they do counciling ive said to people the same that after a few months the world goes back to normal but we dont they try and change the ssubject or even ignore when you mention him i lost my partner a year last may and ive found that the thing is every week you go and chat to the same counciler and they are there to help you with your grief its a diffrent grief when you loose your partner to othere grief feels like somethings put a full stop on your life so keep talking to us we understand what its like until you go through it all the books in the world will not make people understan how you feel you have to stick at it thoe it hurts talking about it but talking gets the grief out .paul

Hi Dubberley64, 

I too seem to have hit a barrier. I lost my Darling John just over 13 months ago. I had counselling with the hospice that helped me care for him, and thought I was doing ok. It wasn't easy but I was managing to do what I had to do. Then the year anniversary came along and 'pow', I felt I had gone back to square one. I was crying, depressed, not wanting to do anything or go anywhere, and basically wondering how I would go on. It got so bad, I had to return to counselling. My counsellor said it is a common reaction because for some people the second year really confirms that your loved one is not coming back. I am still struggling with it, but am hoping it will pass before too long. Grief is relentless but I am encouraged by people on this forum who say it does get easier. So hang in there and share on this forum. It does help.

Take care Love Heather. X

Thank you for talking to me. I think what you said is true the first year I seemed to live in a bubble kidding myself I was ok and then suddenly I seemed to realise that he wasn't coming back. Our daughter planned to get married quickly before her dad died but sadly it was too late so they postponed it and now they are hoping to get married next Xmas Now I think the trigger was that I know that he won't be there to see her get married.

Hello

Just found this post, I am in exactly the sa,e position, I live alone and rarely see family except my son, we chat on wattsapp, that's about it, I keep telling them what I need is family, but falls on deaf ears, mumbles of encouragement, you're doing well etc. but doesn't help me, sometimes wonder why I bother continuing 

How are you ? 

Hey Reddwarf4ever,

I just came across your post and noticed you were trying to reach out to Dubberley64. Unfortunately they haven't been on the forum in over 2 and a half years and this particular discussion hasn't been active since 2019 so I'm not sure you're going to receive a reply.

If you don't hear back from them, do feel free to connect with others on more recent discussions or start your own.

I'm really sorry things have been so tough but I hope you can take some strength, and comfort, from knowing you are not alone and that many of our members understand what you're going. 

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator