Hello,
my mum past away just over a month ago. I am devasted but after a long battle with cancer I am bitter sweetly happy she is no long suffering and in pain,
im struggling to mentally get past the syringe driver. She had one fitted the day before she passed away. My mums nurse suggested we did it as it was a Friday, she was going away for a week and thought it would be best to do before the weekend and she went away.
baring in mind, my mum was still able to swallow, drink, eat and sit up.
However i I had never heard of a syringe driver, mums nurse sold it to me that it would be easier for all of us. It would be the same medication just administered a different way.
within an hour of having the driver in place my mum had gone from being a fairly poorly but coherent person to a zombie. I had no idea what was going on, she was very distressed and being only able to conunicate through her eyes we could work our she still in pain hours later, she didn’t rest at all that day, eyes constantly open and watching people (Previous days she was sleep most of the time)
i couldn’t explain to my littlle brother why just a few hours before she could do things and now she couldn’t.
it it wasn’t until midnight and I went though her notes was I aware she was given midazolam. This was never told to me. I also found out a nurse was supposed to have come back and given her an injection of haloperidol which was forgotten about.
I just keep replaying those last 24 hours Over in my head
had I been told what was going to happen, I may have been prepared. I would have had answers not just for me but for my little brother. I could have consoled my mother better.
Theres also a good chance i would have said no, as it was far to early. She could have had morphine injections as the night nurse which I called out as I was so worried. mentioned to me.
