Hi it sucks does grief i think its starts to get worse after 4 months for a while i think its that finaly it hits us there gone and its real but hold on it does start to get better slowly that horrible empty lonely feeling starts to leave but you know there still around there energys still with us in my case it was my partner but i still chat acasionaly in bed or if ime going out i might just say ime going out are you coming .no ime not crackers its a way of keeping her with us love and all that energy that was your mum dosant die even the phyisists dont disput that are there times when you feel that your not alone or something inice happens you cant explain or just a feeling i did so try and hold onto that you may find it very comforting chat to your mum its its hard when something happens good or bad and your bursting to tell someone just tell her text it it realy helps best wishs paul

Thank you Paul for your reply. I do feel her energy at times, exactly what you have described. It's just awful as you can hear the reply in your head, can't you? I'm so sorry that you lost your partner, there are no words that can help. It helps to write it all down, how you're feeling. It's almost cathartic. 

I appreciate you taking time out to reply to me. 

Nicola

Ime ok nicola i dont feel lonley just the physical loss i i on mentioned it so would know i inderstand i dont like steeling your grief just hold on there lass it gets eisier and  thanks .best wishs paul

I am so so sorry to hear about your Mothers passing and to read the anguish and despair in your post  You did the very best you could for your dear Mammy and don't ever forget that Nicola. She will live in your heart forever and no one can ever take that away from you.

It is good that you are open and honest about your feelings with your counseller as they have seen it all but Doctors/GP's never fail to amaze me with their lack of understanding or empathy and i do feel that your GP should at least be trying to help you at what is one of the most difficult times in your life. Have they not even prescribed you an anti-depressant ? I know many people are reluctant to take these but please believe me when i tell you that they can help. He should at least be referring you to either a physchiatrist, a counseller or someone from the mental health team.

Many years ago i went through the loss of a much loved one and i  didn't deal with it well at all, i had lost all sense of reality to the point that i believed this person wasn't actually dead and i eventually tried to take my own life so i could be with them. I used to traipse the streets looking for them, in the evenings after my work and at the weekends. I did later suffer from a complete mental breakdown and finally i got help but this was many many years after the event. To this day, i still take anti depressants with no ill effects and occasionally still see a physchiatrist. I am not suggesting for a minute  that this will happen to you but i do urge you to go back to your GP and almost demand that you are referred to your local mental health facility. 

While it may not seem like it right now, things will get better. I have dealt with other family deaths since then and at the time, you think it will always  be the way it is but please please believe me  and Paul above that things do get better, it isn't easy and it doesn't happen as quickly as we would like but slowly, you start to come out from the clouds and see the sunlight that is up there.

Just one other thing, don't beat yourself over how you feel or what has happened. If it was your friend who was going through this, then you would give them a break, be kind to them so please do that for yourself too.

God Bless : PJ

Hi ive just read your first post .you know nichola ime not a dr but ive a good degree in the uni of life as ime an oldie its realy sounds like P.T.S.D post traumatic stress dissorder i lost my liz so unexpected and quick 2 days thats not important it left me with it dr gave me a low dose of diazapam and then a low dose antidepresant . I think it helped i suggest you make a double apointment with anothere gp and dont let em fob you off a young lady dr if there is one . You drastically need help for that . I found the best for me was the samaritan numbers free its a queue systym but you dont wait there there 24/7 when you wake up with a anxiaty attack give them a call a 5 minuit chat can calm you down you can ring as many times as you like if you get a person you cant gell with just say thank you and ring back sounds like the guilt things set in about you not being there i had that but ive worked that out as some people wait till no ones there  so dont dont let your councionce punish you i used to tell myself all the  care i gave we are allowed to be human but ring ring your gp dont put it off . Paul

I lost my mum in march 2019 i got married in June 19 the pain of nit having mum in my life no more hurts a lot and there are days when i still.feel like a little boy im 30 year old man but still dont feel like that....

I am strong man i dont cry but my since my dad passed away in2012 my mum was my go to person now i feel thats all gone luckily im married now my wife is amazing i just hate making her feel a burden like im not good enuf for her i have so many personal problems but she loves menthru n thru .

It’s okay. It’s all very hard to deal with and I understand what you’re going through. I hope everything goes well for you eventually as the time goes on because I think your mum would be very proud of you. I hope you become stronger. I hope you can work hard and fight through this. All the best, xx