Bless you love so sorry you must be in agony this rotton desease is like that it has no time limit i i thought my parner would be around some years so they said but was gone in weeks . Just try and get through one day it does get eisier you know but it takes time just take one day at a time try and be round family and friends talk about you mum talking helps dont do anything i felt like that but it passes if it gets so bad make a double apointment with your gp they can help and conciling may help you to till you heal emotionaly keep coming and chatting to us your not alone on here many of us understand your feeling of loss and dispair best wishs .paul

Hi leah, when things are settled, you can go visit your mum take her flowers talk to her, my mother been gone a long time, but i still visit her take her flowers talk to her tell her what's been going on in my life, i think the body might be gone but the soul is still here, she keeps me going on the right route,. Best wishes. 

Billy 

Thank u so much for ur lovely words it's really helped in a huge way hour by hour I've been just taken things

Thank u

Thank u for ur kind words

I’m so sorry you lost your Mum. I lost my Mum 4 weeks ago. I too found myself pondering suicide just to see her but the thought didn’t last long.....how cross and sad Mum would be with me if I was to end my life because she can no longer be here! And as you say....I can’t inflict the pain I am suffering on my children. They’ve lost a Nan they adored. That is more than enough grief to suffer. 

I’m getting through every day by thinking about what Mum would want me to be doing. I don’t think it’s begun to hit me yet and I’m sure worse is to come but I guess we just have to float on the sea of grief.....sometimes the waves will wash over us and we’ll struggle to stay afloat but we must remember that eventually those storms will pass and the sea will calm again....we’ll have to make the most of those sunny spells when we can

Look after yourself

Lx 

Hi Leah. I am so sorry for you that you feel so sad and upset. My husband died 19 years ago when he was only 31 and our son was 5 years old. The only way I can describe how I felt then : I felt like my husband was the big powerful 4X4 I was the caravan he was towing along and our son was all the personal belongings that we had with us where ever we went. When Andy ( my husband ) died I felt what is the point the 4x4 has gone so the caravan and belongings can't go anywhere. Fast forward a few years, and I now feel like I am a camper van. I am the vehicle and the living quarters and our precious son is a passenger on this long (now fun ) journey called life. Hang on in there love. You will get your strength from your children. Take care. Things do get easier.

what a brilliant way to think about your loss & recovery! I'm sure that will have helped Leah. x

Thanks purrfect. I only joined this site a couple of days ago even though I lost my husband so long ago. The truth is that I didn't even realize that there was such a site. I was thinking of starting one up so that everyone had someone to talk to that truly understood them, so I googled " how do I go about starting up a forum" and this site appeared ! I am over the moon that someone else beat me to it, and that people have had a place to vent and express how they are feeling without the fear of upsetting family and friends