Hi ya .. so so sorry you lost your lovely mum to this crule cancer .. it sucks big time ..

Now my mum was my best buddy too .. we were always together .. she was at mine at least three times a week .. adored my boys .. she was a huge part of my life .. I'd imagined how I would ever cope without her .. and would cry at the thought .. she was my world like your mum with you ..

I was the same as you .. instead of reacting how I thought .. l just felt calm and piecfull ... it felt she was saying to me, I'm right here beside you .. and over the years have called on her when things got overwhelming in life .. and something would happen to solve it .. 

Lots of things have happened there's no other explanation for ... the last thing was the day I was diagnosed with breast cancer... feathers appeared everywhere,  esp in my bra .. l found them daily .. the day I was told it was contained after my masectomy... and low risk of spread they stopped...

I think sometimes when you are so very close, you don't need to cry .. they are still close, we just can't see them .. though something may happen .. music or a smell or a memory and the tears will come .. but just go with it .. l always say it's those that don't cry, that hurt the most .. we were blessed with amazing mum's.. don't cry because we loose them... smile because you were blessed to have had them in our lives...  Chrissie

Thank you so much for your kind words. I am sorry that you too have lost your mum. I think that’s the thing....I still feel her around me and my heart is so full of the love we have for each other. 

A few strange things have happened here too. You know how they say, if a robin visits you, then it’s sent from a loved one in heaven to say ‘Hello....I love you’ ? Well I’ve always thought it was a load of rubbish......it’s just a robin in the garden. Then a week after Mum died......we found a robin sitting on my sons bed!! His window wasn’t even open! I’ve changed my mind slightly now!

So pleased to hear your breast cancer was all contained. I wish you all the best x

I'm so sorry about your mum and I know how you feel. Mine died nearly four months ago after a long fight with breast cancer. After 20 years it finally go to her, but we managed to get her home and she died peacefully three days later. I expected to be overwhelmed with grief and whilst I have had my tears, I haven't fallen apart. I think I avoid thinking about it too much, watching my mother go downhill so rapidly and unexpectedly must have been quite traumatic and I don't think I've processed it all -  which I suspect is a coping mechanism. 
 

I'm shedding a few tears now! I also had an experience with a robin - a few days after she'd died, I was walking the dog and a robin was really close to me in a tree singing his heart out for ages and I just stood and listened. My father also found a deflated happy birthday balloon in the hedge on his birthday and I like to think it was my mum, feeling very proud of herself - I cried a lot that day! 
 

I am sure you are coping just fine and perhaps the peace came as you know she is pain free, at peace herself and watching over you x

So sorry to hear about your Mum.

It was the 1st anniversary of losing Mum in May and I've still not fallen apart! 
So much has happened in that year (I left my husband of 14years) and I'm just so desperate to chat to her and ask her invaluable advice. I want to know what she would think though my suspicion is, as she hated the way he treated me and the kids, she would be pleased we are free of the unhappiness now and my children are so much happier. I miss her so much but I think you're right, a coping mechanism kicks in. When I find myself dwelling on her loss I seem to have a mental block eventually and my mind stops thinking about her. I think my brain just still can't cope with going there. I'm burying my head in the sand I know and I'm sure the day will come when it does hit me. 
 

I sometimes wonder whether, when your Mum has fought cancer for so long, you do prepare yourself much more than you realise.

I am sure your mum has helped you in your decision making and would be immensely proud of you. Life I short and it is so important to be happy, her death has probably made you see that. 
 

I agree with what you say about preparing yourself, we said our goodbyes and right till she couldn't speak anymore she was telling me how much she loved me - and when she slipped away my brother and dad were with her laughing about something, so she chose her moment - I'll treasure that. I feel so much for all those who didn't have the opportunity to say goodbye. 
 

Good luck with your new chapter and remember she's with you x

This message has touched me so much. After an 18 month battle I lost my beautiful mum last Sunday  we always joked that she got all the most beautiful birds at her house, finches, blue ***, robins, even some woodpecker and grouse, while I got crows and sparrows. Since she has gone I’ve had a wee finch every day and 2 blue *** and a robin. It makes me feel like she is there

This message has touched me so much. After an 18 month battle I lost my beautiful mum last Sunday  we always joked that she got all the most beautiful birds at her house, finches, blue ***, robins, even some woodpecker and grouse, while I got crows and sparrows. Since she has gone I’ve had a wee finch every day and 2 blue *** and a robin. It makes me feel like she is there