Hi I no exactly how u r feeling my mum passed away on 6th June this year I'm the same I feel as tho I can't cry I have cried everyday the past three years when we first found out I was an emotional wreck to the point the family where more worried about me than mum to how I was coping with it but now u just feel as tho I can't cry i the same say my mum is gone to myself but I still think mum will come back which is absolutely never going to happen it's so strange mum was my best friend and everyone always said we were like a double act u never seen 1 without the other day just do t understand how o feeling I hope u r ok as u can b 

Hi. I wish we could talk about this... do u think we can? If yes then how?

I feel the same...and we were best friends with my mom too. She passed away almost 8 months ago. The cause was cancer.. and I also have the feeling that i'll see her soon..

Hiya

So sorry to hear you lost your lovely Mum.

It is 18 months now since I lost my Mum. I have processed her lost a lot better now but I think I still haven't grasped fully what has happened. I think I'm frightened to comprehend fully that she is actually gone. All I would say is that you just have to roll with it. What and how you feel is what and how you feel....there is no right or wrong way to grieve.

I still have things happen in life and I think 'I'll tell Mum about that later' and then feel devastated when I remember I can't. 
 

I think our strange denial about our Mother's loss is probably our minds trying to protect us from taking on too much grief at one time and therefore it sinks in gradually.

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Mam 5 weeks ago and what you have described, is EXACTLY how I am.

For the 2 weeks after she passed, I busied myself with the funeral arrangements making sure everything was perfect for her and I was looking after Dad and my brothers. I kind of feel she has passed on the torch, as my Mam has always been so brave and so strong (even right to the end) and now this was my turn to be the protective one and to take care of everyone. 

I have cried very little for her and that must sound awful. I have had moments where it's caught me and I realise that she's gone but her presence is still here, if that makes sense.

I still wait for that 3 page text message or a call in the middle of work. Even when I visit Dad, I feel like she's still just upstairs.

My friends have not said much to me. I'm wondering if that's because I appear okay. I am but I'm not! I miss my Mam, my best friend! 

She didn't want us to be sad for her, she repeated that days before she left us. I think those words have given me the strength too. 

I feel perhaps we are at peace knowing our Mams are out of pain. Although they've left a big hole in our lives that can never be filled and that's left us feeling a bit lost and a bit numb to anything. 

I lost my dad in 2016. Wasn't cancer but septic shock and he had been slowly withering away due to heart failure. He slowly became unrecognisable and it was heartbreaking. He was 75 when he passed and I was just 30. 

My family is in another country, Italy, and I live here in the UK and I'll never forgive myself that I didn't go back to see him in his last days. That happened because I had just started a new job and he didn't seem like he was gonna pass that quickly. They were talking about hospice but he never made it to one.

I spoke to him on the phone on the morning of the day he died. His voice was a whisper. I didn't know it was gonna be the last time or else I would have said things I will never be able tell him now. 

When my sister told me he had passed I did cry but then just felt relief for him. He had no life anymore the way he had been with the illness and he was free of pain and suffering. 

I went back for the funeral, seen him at the morgue etc. I felt ok. At the time I managed to stay put together quite well. 

But I guess I never properly grieved. I can't look at his pics now without immediately bursting into tears. I dream of my dad often and feel immense guilt that I wasn't there when he died. My GP just diagnosed me with moderate/severe depression and I can tell you this is one of the reasons. 

His death hit me in a delayed way so to speak. I cannot talk about this to anyone in my real life. I keep it for myself but I don't think the pain will ever go away. You just go on but it will always be there.

This is my personal experience with the death of a very close person to me and I had lost my grandmothers before him as well. 

You're not a bad person at all for not crying. Everyone deals with grief differently. You're experiencing calm that your mum now is at peace. That's a good way to deal with this actually. 

I wish you all the best. Take care and don't worry about what others think. It's your emotions and no one can judge them. 

I feel the exact same way , my mam recently passed due to liver and lung cancer . But I feel like there's someone constantly here looking after me and that's why I feel so calm and better 

When your heart brakes, it repairs it's self over time. You don't feel this way because you don't love her, because everyone loves there Mum. And, you suddenly felt calm once she did die because you didn't have to worry about her dying anymore. I'm terrified of my mother dying. And hopefully she doesn't. Hope this helps.

Hi 

I am so glad to have found your post as I googled why I was feeling exactly like you and was wondering if anyone else had experienced the same . My mom too was my best friend. And rather than fall apart I have been filled with a sense of calm and feel she is still around.I feel she is still with me. I lived with her and looked after her so saw her everyday and I still feel so loved by her. I would like to think we are the lucky  ones who had that amazing and unique bond and still have it. I always thought I would fall apart and so far haven't .thank you for all the posts of people who feel the same  it has helped me knowing you have experienced something similar. She only passed away last month but I hope this strength lasts . She was amazing . 

Hi Jackie

I am so sorry for your loss but SO pleased that you have found my post helpful. It's rather strange when you expect to be a certain way and then you are actually strong and calm. Ot was such a help for me to discover that I was not alone.
My Mum has been gone for 18months now and the grief is definitely catching up with me. I find that the tears flow rather freely these day's whenever I think of her. I miss her terribly. What hasn't changed though is the feeling that she is always around me and I still feel her love for me every day. We adored each other.
We certainly are the lucky ones. Some people have an awful time with their Mums yet we had an amazing bond with ours that nothing can break. I know she is always with me. My Mum always used to say 'Grief is the price you pay for loving someone so much, but it's worth it to have known such love.' 
My thoughts are with you