P.s just read about the robin wow what a beautiful sign from your mother, treasure that. 

Take Care x x x

My mum died almost 2 years ago - but the big difference between my story & yours is that my mum was 89yrs old. The similarity is that I too felt quite calm & didn't cry. In fact the night she died I slept very well indeed. What I've learned since, is that as time has gone by I've missed her more & more & do cry for her now. It isn't something that is spoiling my life at all it's just, I think, a way of grieving that for whatever reason, 'suits me'. 

If I were you I really wouldn't worry about not crying. You will in due course I'm sure. Perhaps, as happened with me, when you begin to miss her more than you do at the moment because it isn't so long since you lost her. Take each day as it comes. Don't worry about not crying - you will when you feel the need to. Remember too that your mum wouldn't want you to be worried about this!!

Take care of yourself - live each day as it comes & all will be well. x

My mum died just over a month ago after battling a blood cancer for 3 years. She was doing considerably better until about 6 weeks before she died, when she went into kidney failure, started dialysis and subsequently stopped becuase she was just too poorly.  I was devastated over Christmas crying every day, just waiting for the inevitable. I would walk around Tesco's crying.
The day she died I cried and from then on pretty much nothing. I was devasted from the day of her diagnosis to the point of being signed off from work for 2 months after trying to cope with caring and living with her. I cooked for her 3x a week after moving out from home 1 year before she died. The reaction I expected after her death has not come. 
 

is my reaction normal? Initially I felt relieved she was no longer suffering as the process was awful. Then I felt guilty. But now I just seem to be getting on with life, going back to work. I want to grieve - when will it happen? 

Hi im so sorry to hear about your Mom :( but reading your post has made me feel a little better because im exactly the same as you.Me and my mom were inseparable.Im an only child .My mom passed suddenly from stage 4 small cell lung cancer.I dont know why but i thought she would get better :( they let her home from the hospital on the Wednesday and she was gone on the Saturday.She was only diagnosed on the Monday that same week.When i got the dreaded call i was in shock but carried on ironing and put my son to bed.Then i walked to the house to see her and i cried but since then ive only cried maybe 5 times and i don't understand what  the hell is wrong with me :( i just cant understand how i can just be so calm and not emotional.Its as if its not happened to me its like its happened to someone else.And i feel awful because i would imagine i would be hysterically crying 24/7 and seing a picture,hearing a song,a birthday or mothers day would set me off but i feel nothing :( i do think people don't think i care and that im heartless especially my dad :( when i scattered her ashes i felt nuffin its like my brain just point blank refuses to accept shes gone :( thank you ️xxx

Hi Lea

So sorry to hear you lost your Mum too. I'm pleased my post has helped you. 
 

It's now been almost a year since my Mum died and I'm still waiting for it to hit me! I am still amazed at how strong I've been and how little I cry. I've thought about it often over the last 11months and the only way I can begin to know why I'm so different from how I thought I'd be is that Mum feels forever with me. She taught me to be a strong and capable person and the comfort I draw from that is that she would be so proud of me and how I'm coping. 

Ive been through so much in the last year (realising life is too short I left my husband) and I have been so desperate at times to chat to her and ask her opinion and advice on things but, after having a little think, I can almost always know what she would say. Most of time I still can't register that she's gone x

Hi Laura thanks so much for replying :) its my moms birthday today she would of been 59 bless her and yet again no tears, nothing :( after reading what you have put though i can deffo relate to what you are saying so maybe that is what it is,maybe this is the reason we aint complete wrecks because we know they are with us even if we cant see them.Im sorry you have had a rough year but im glad you have taken control of your life and you are seing things in a different light like you say life is certainly too short.But that is what gets to me sometimes you just need their advice or just a listening ear so its upsetting that we cant talk to them when we feel we need them most :( i think about her everyday as i imagine you do too just no tears.It was a year February for me.Thank you so so much though hun its really helped to know im not alone xxx

Sweetheart, you are in shock. And it is a very normal part of the process. Let's pray you stay this way for a few months more because once the shock wears off, you might not be able to function. Even though you had some time to grieve prior to your mom's death, once it happens it is very shocking to now live with the fact that you will never be able to chat with her, or hug her, or smell her, or call her when you are having a bad day. I'm so sorry you lost your mother. Now get things in order so that when the shock wears off, you will still be able to manage yours and your children's day to day life.  Because normally after the shock, heartbreak and grief will hit you like a ton of bricks. You wont remember anything,  your emotions will be on hyperload and your thoughts will be too. They call it widow's brain and I'm sure it isn't any different in the case of losing your mother and best friend. God bless you. And be thankful that your mother was such a great mother. 

I'm so sorry about your mum and I know how you feel. Mine died nearly four months ago after a long fight with breast cancer. After 20 years it finally go to her, but we managed to get her home and she died peacefully three days later. I expected to be overwhelmed with grief and whilst I have had my tears, I haven't fallen apart. I think I avoid thinking about it too much, watching my mother go downhill so rapidly and unexpectedly must have been quite traumatic and I don't think I've processed it all -  which I suspect is a coping mechanism. 
 

I'm shedding a few tears now! I also had an experience with a robin - a few days after she'd died, I was walking the dog and a robin was really close to me in a tree singing his heart out for ages and I just stood and listened. My father also found a deflated happy birthday balloon in the hedge on his birthday and I like to think it was my mum, feeling very proud of herself - I cried a lot that day! 
 

I am sure you are coping just fine and perhaps the peace came as you know she is pain free, at peace herself and watching over you x

So sorry to hear about your Mum.

It was the 1st anniversary of losing Mum in May and I've still not fallen apart! 
So much has happened in that year (I left my husband of 14years) and I'm just so desperate to chat to her and ask her invaluable advice. I want to know what she would think though my suspicion is, as she hated the way he treated me and the kids, she would be pleased we are free of the unhappiness now and my children are so much happier. I miss her so much but I think you're right, a coping mechanism kicks in. When I find myself dwelling on her loss I seem to have a mental block eventually and my mind stops thinking about her. I think my brain just still can't cope with going there. I'm burying my head in the sand I know and I'm sure the day will come when it does hit me. 
 

I sometimes wonder whether, when your Mum has fought cancer for so long, you do prepare yourself much more than you realise.