Same, I have my mum still and naturally i'm doing  everything I can to support her, she's been left with a huge hole in her life and I'm so proud of her she's doing so well, I also have a sister who I feel is selfish and really needs to step up and be part of this family, in her free time she prefers to sit in the cemetery than spend time with mum and I get she probably finds comfort there but not at the expense of mum who asks me if my sister only went round their house when dad was alive as she doesn't seem so interested now, I just find that so sad for my mum and I actually think my sister would be gutted if she knew what mum was  thinking. Me and my sister have always been close and I know I should talk to her but don't know how to, she can be a closed book sometimes and right now I feel angry at her but not sure if my anger is all aimed at her or part of my grieving, I feel so confused, I'll try the book and see if it helps thanks 

Sounds like she has her own issues to sort, if she's going to the cemetery that much she's stuck somewhere and won't even think the way you do. I understand the driving force to do that I was going at all times but looking back I needed to. 
hopefuly she will get past it. It's often for some difficult to have a relationship with the remaining parent , the brain does real odd things I know that too myself xxx 

Hi there.

My dad died 10 July 2020 from Glioblastoma, just over a year from being diagnosed with having grade 4 brain cancer. He was always healthy and active; one day he passed out, went to the GP, had CT scan followed by MRI and then delivered the heartbreaking prognosis 12-15 months or 3 months if without surgery. It was a delibitating illness; he went from being 100% mobile to wheelchair then bed bound within 3 months. My dad was the person i've known and spent time with the longest as mum passed when we were little. I am 45 and when dad passed i felt a huge void i simply cannot/don't know how to filll.Today marks one year since dad's passing. I still think of dad daily, some days are better than others. If not overcome by sadness, i think of all the happy times we had. But I still cry often, if not daily almost weekly; when his pics pop up on my phone memories, when i look at holiday photos. When i can't stop thinking about him, i play back voice messages he had left on my phone, and yes i cannot bear to delete all the texts, voice messages yet. I know it will get better, but 12 months on i am still grieving. I accept this is normal, and try my best to cope whenever emotions overcome me.

Like you, I come to this site often, before and after dad passed as I found some of the messages on this forum comforting. Knowing that I am not alone feeling the way i feel. Don't feel sorry for rambling. I can tell you that i am feeling slightly better that I've written this. Do what you need to do to take care, heal and protect that broken heart. x

Hi  completely understand. Lost my dad Sept 2018. I'm really struggling still and always will

We are certainly together in grief and loss. How lucky are we to have dads that had such an impact. We loved them and they us ️

Aww I am so sorry to hear that your dad has sadly passed away. Reading your post makes me think that I could have wrote exactly the same word for word! I lost my dad in March 2021 and the pain in my heart is enormous. I cannot deal with his loss at all. I miss him with every beat of my heart. I just want to see him one more time, to speak to him one more time, I think about him all day every day. I've had days where I just want to die so I can be with him, I'm not scared of dying anymore, I'm so angry at the world for taking him away and so abruptly too. We had no time, none! I think of the day he left us every day. I run through each step from getting the phone call to holding his hand and begging him to hold on. I'm getting married in 3 weeks and I am not looking forward to it because I need him there with me. People say 'he will be walking by your side' I feel like shouting back at them 'NO HE WONT BE'. How are you doing now? Better I hope XXX

Just joined in the hope of finding others who are grieving after loosing their father.

My father died suddenly at 66 two weeks ago, and the post mortem yesterday revealed he died from a huge internal bleed due to liver cancer - he was undiagnosed, and had no obvious symptoms leading up. We assumed he had a heart attack.

What makes it worse is that my uncle passed away 5 weeks ago from pancreatic cancer, and my father and mother had been looking after him for nearly 10 months. That was traumatic in itself.

I have two young children and a partner, a mother and brother, but I just don't want to live without him anymore. I did everything with him, played in the same band, went to watch football together, spoke on the phone for over an hour each night, shared the same sense of humour. He was my best friend.

I know it's raw, but I suffer from depression, and I cannot see myself recovering from this.

Many thanks.

Hold on tight it's so difficult , I am 13 months on now from my dad going, it made me terribly ill I was that upset and as you read it seems most of us experience similar thoughts and feelings. I wanted to die to be with him. I went round and round the events leading to him going it took months to get beyond that then the pain of missing him kicked in.

you will have just ok days and bad days it's a journey you have to take. I still have days that really hurt and others I feel masses of love for him and know I'm lucky to ever feel that way about someone and know the same from him. 
 

it's not easy but try to stay well xxx 

You must still be in shock, it's hard to take it all in for first few weeks, the grief is overwhelming and the pain  feels so physical doesn't it.  I used to, and still do sit down with a cup of tea and tell my dad about my day as I too used to have daily hour long chats on the phone.   It helps me to continue to talk to him, I feel so much grief and guilt that I've been very slow learning to live with his loss, as someone said, you don't get over it but you learn how to live with it. It's a cliche but it does take time, and you can get there.  Try to look after yourself, and your mum too   X