Hi

I also lost my lovely dad in December 2020 to lung cancer, he had battled for 18 months so I feel I had some time to prepare for the inevitable, I also believe he's at peace but I miss him so much. I feel I've been the strong one for my family and still, 6 months later I feel I am carrying them and don't have anyone to talk to except my husband. Work colleagues and friends give the impression that I should be getting over it by now and even after just having my 1st Father's Day without my dad no one has asked how I am feeling leaving me feeling angry at others and questioning whether my expectations of people are to high. I am a strong organised person and think people see this in me without seeing I still need a hug and kind words. I feel so let down as I know I am carrying and supporting others and getting nothing back.I often feel selfish for thinking like this. 

I know exactly how you are, nobody asked how I am after loosing dad as my mums still alive. It's like he had a wife she's gonna be upset no point asking you. 
move had to sort everything and I've two older brothers. 
mots almost a year and first Father's Day threw me some turmoil. 
I went on a course at work - Bereavement and Loss, was unsure if to or not but I found it helpful, the trainer chatted to me at the end and I said like you people think I'm the strong one and it all goes for me ..... she told me to read - 

The Curse if The Strong  by Dr. Tim Cantopher , now the book talks about depression but not that suffered by those with long term issues but by people like us that cope and cope and cope but there's an overload fuse goes. I found it quite easy to relate to me my personality and a bit that's gone on. 
mots short (as my mind won't concentrate yet, another trait of the turmoil) 

you are not alone, your normal and really people are *** with death and get it all wrong. 
hold on tight xxxx 

Same, I have my mum still and naturally i'm doing  everything I can to support her, she's been left with a huge hole in her life and I'm so proud of her she's doing so well, I also have a sister who I feel is selfish and really needs to step up and be part of this family, in her free time she prefers to sit in the cemetery than spend time with mum and I get she probably finds comfort there but not at the expense of mum who asks me if my sister only went round their house when dad was alive as she doesn't seem so interested now, I just find that so sad for my mum and I actually think my sister would be gutted if she knew what mum was  thinking. Me and my sister have always been close and I know I should talk to her but don't know how to, she can be a closed book sometimes and right now I feel angry at her but not sure if my anger is all aimed at her or part of my grieving, I feel so confused, I'll try the book and see if it helps thanks 

Same, I have my mum still and naturally i'm doing  everything I can to support her, she's been left with a huge hole in her life and I'm so proud of her she's doing so well, I also have a sister who I feel is selfish and really needs to step up and be part of this family, in her free time she prefers to sit in the cemetery than spend time with mum and I get she probably finds comfort there but not at the expense of mum who asks me if my sister only went round their house when dad was alive as she doesn't seem so interested now, I just find that so sad for my mum and I actually think my sister would be gutted if she knew what mum was  thinking. Me and my sister have always been close and I know I should talk to her but don't know how to, she can be a closed book sometimes and right now I feel angry at her but not sure if my anger is all aimed at her or part of my grieving, I feel so confused, I'll try the book and see if it helps thanks 

Sounds like she has her own issues to sort, if she's going to the cemetery that much she's stuck somewhere and won't even think the way you do. I understand the driving force to do that I was going at all times but looking back I needed to. 
hopefuly she will get past it. It's often for some difficult to have a relationship with the remaining parent , the brain does real odd things I know that too myself xxx