Hi, I lost my mum five years ago and my world fell apart now I have cancer. I have gone to my local hospice and I always thought it was where you go to die but that is so untrue. It is there for family and carers and I think you should contact your local one and they can advise you on counselling which I think you really need theyalso have workshops and therapies like reiki, reflexology etc. You really need to find yourself again and I think you should not have lost your job you have been treated badly. I remember at first I counted the days after mum passed away, then I counted the weeks...it went on to counting the months then the first anniversary I went to see a medium and she really helped me find a bit of closure. I went on to counting the years yes it took me probably two years to fully cope with it. Nobody can put a time frame on your loss, it hurts so so much you can not breathe but truly you need help as you’re not coping at all. I wish I had at my hospice. I took my adult daughter there this week and she is starting counselling and has been booked in for reiki too. She never knew how friendly and inviting a hospice is. The patient are on a ward where we go is a lovely coffee shop, open log fire, friendly faces and if I feel even slightly unwell the nurses check me over immediatly. There are even workshops for my grandkids as they have family therapy every Saturday where they make something nice. 

I hope you will get help, good luck and try and be positive however hard this seems x

Hi there ime touched by daisybells post how kind to reach out to give you good advice.she is right about hospices they are not just there to die i have just finnished counciling after nine months and so glad i stuck it out some people think they can deal with it themselves but they sonetimes get stuck in the misery and cant seem to get through it the strongest need help sometimes .from what ive seen and read it happens grief can turn into depression its fine line you if were you i would go and have a word with your gp see what they say ime sure you dont want to feel this way .now but i do understand and empathise with you theres lots of help out there for you you just need to pull yourself up to go or get a friend to go with you or partner if you have one. They call it complicated grief i cant say you have it or not but your gp will know and it never to late for bereavement counciling .best wishs paul