Losing my Mum

Hi all, 

I am 16 and lost my Mum to cancer 2 months ago. I am really struggling to cope with life without her, and I feel like I need to speak to people in the same boat as me. I do talk to friends however I feel like they struggle to understand as they have not expereinced the same thing as I have. 

I hope someone can give me some hope as I feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel :/

Thanks, Millie 

  • Hi Karen, 

    I did speak about medication to calm my anxiety however my doctor said because of my age nothing would be suitable and all of them could have lots of negative side effects that out weigh the positives. i also tried some herbal sleeping tablets but they made me feel so sick and dizzy. Rescue Remedy doesnt have much of an effect either unfortunately :( 

    Thats a good idea, i hadnt thought of calling anyone. I will 100% look into that. Yes I live with my dad and brother who is 14. 

    thank you so so much for your reply and support it means the world. 

    love Millie x 

     

  • Hi Millie ,so glad you are going to do that darling,The phone call is free ,they are beautiful people who will understand and support you 24/7.Be good for you all to talk as a family also,as sometimes with grief everyone shuts down as everyone is in their own bubble of grief.How is your Brother and Dad are they supporting one another or is everyone closed down in shock? Xxxxxxx You need to have your personal chat with someone to release a lot of what’s going on ,I pray that you can clear some of the other stuff so that you can look after yourself ,be kind to yourself,understand and put in perspective with the other stuff is it really important,if it isn’t just get rid of those problems.You will find the strength to cope,rest as much as you can and definately have a few chats ,talking to a stranger can be easier as you don’t feel your betraying anyway.Good luck Millie you can friend request me if you want to have a private chat at anytime.xxxx

  • Hi Millie

    I am so sorry to read about your loss. I lost my mum 5 months ago, and my dad 4 years ago. 

    I’m surprised your GP thinks it’s too early for counselling. I’m glad you’re going to call someone. Talking really helps. I’m having counselling through a local cancer support centre. You might like to see if there’s anything like that near you. They have drop ins too, so I can just call in at any time for a cup of tea and a chat.

    Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that. I didn’t know about them after losing dad and they help so much. I go to Wessex Cancer Trust. No idea where you are but if you look them up it will give you an idea of what they do and you might find something similar near you.

    Take care of yourself.

    Kat

  • Hi Karen, 

    Thank you so much for telling me about this phone call service - may I ask what is the phone number?

    I have friend requested you as you have been so helpful, you dont realise how much people like you help me. 

    The other stuff I was talking about is college work and stress - it is all getting too much and I feel like what has happened to me recently is not being considered :/ unfortunately college isnt something I can get rid of, but it is definitley getting too much. 

    Millie x 

  • Hi Kat, sorry to hear about your losses :(

    I was surpised about the counselling too. I am in the West Sussex area, I will look them up. 

    Thank you so much, Millie x

     

  • Hi milli i would go back and c another gp ive heard that some gps say that what rubbish i went and got counciling within a week of loosing my partner it realy helped i didnt go to see my gp i rang the local hospice and spoke to head counciler .ime much older than you an old wrinkly but anxiaty was getting to me she did give me something that helped but at your age these things can do more harm than good but having someone you can talk to about how you feel and then not trying to change the subject like people do. try your local hospic or see maybe a more caring gp maybe a lady dr if you can .its not fair i know loosing your mum early but it does get easier so try and hold onto that thought to keep you going for now best wishs to you and your family .paul

  • Hi Paul, 

    Thank you very much for your reply, I might ring the local hospice and ask for counselling as this is where she passed away. 

    Thank you for your support, Millie 

  • Your wellcom millie yes give them a try get. every bit of help you can its out there .p

  • Millie hi. I'm so sorry you lost your mother. Mine passed less than 2 months ago. I'm much older than you and I'm grateful I had her for 44 years but still...It's painful.

    Mothers are extremely important people in our lives. They give birth to us  feed us, protect us  love us. To lose them is like losing a part of ourselves. My 83 year old father whose mum died when he was six still feels the loss especially now mum left us.

    So don't hesitate to talk to.peoplr and ask for help. The pain will lessen and at some point you'll be able to think about her and smile when you recall the good times you had together. 

    I agree with others who mentioned you need counselling. Adolescence is difficult anyway and teenagers struggle sometimes to cope with stressors less severe than bereavement. Speak again to your gp or to another one.

    And dont forget..you are not alone and human beings are extremely strong, even when they feel weak and helpless.

    Look after yourself please

    Regards 

    Psyche

  • Hello Psyche, 

    Im sorry to hear of your loss. It is so painful at any age. I agree, being a teenager is so difficult even without this stress.

    I will talk to people more and let them know how I am feeling. 

    Thank you for your support, Millie