Hi there sorry you lost your mum .you know what you are going through is pretty much how it is grief makes us crazy for a while but it does get less painful but we are all diffrent but when your young it hurts more you have to just have to  plod on slowly having a good cry is good for you so just try and get through each day as we as you can dont hide away meet up with your friends if your sad or have a weep they will not mind i forced myself to go out because knew that if i didnt it would be even more painfull if you havnt arrange yourself some bereavment counciling it realy helps because for however long it lasts the councilers listen they dont judge and they dont try to change the subject allso theres the cruz bereavment chatline numbers free to call its on the web but do ring them .you may have a bereament group in your earea you can go and be with people it helps because you dont feel like your the only one suffering there will be someone comes along and have a chat with you on here keep talking thats the best thing .best wishs paul ps you know guilt goes hand in glove with grief why should you feel guilty because your going away your mum wouldnt want you to feel guilty because theres nothing to feel guilty about but we do another crazy thought but the guilt feelings go to we all get them .