My husbands pancreatic cancer story.

Hi everyone, I am new here and feel I need to share my story with you all. My husband turned 51 this year and was a fit and healthy man, never smoked or drank. Went to the gym regularly and did the London to Brighton bike ride last for his 50th. We had a lovely week away this June to celebrate my 50th and had many plans for the rest of this year. He started to feel a little unwell feeling full quickly after eating at the end of June. Went to the doctors and they gave him some gastric reflux tablets. He then had pain under his right ribs and in his back which got worse and he couldn’t sleep laying down. Went back to the doctors which they done blood tests which the showed up with high liver enzymes, this then quickly escalated to an urgent ultrasound and on Friday 13th July, he was confirmed with many tumours on his liver, he was already jaundiced and we were told they believed it was cancer from the pancreas but there was no surgery options, possibly chemo if they could sort the jaundice. My husband deteriorated quickly and was admitted to  hospital on the 22nd July and passed away on the 29th July. We had been together 31 years. I had never dealt with cancer in the family and have found his death very difficult as he had very few symptoms before this diagnosis and we had no time to come to terms with it, only 2 weeks from being diagnosed to his passing. I am missing him terribly and not sure if I will ever come to terms with my loss.

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  • Hi Debbie 

    your post made me cry.  I am heartbroken for you.  Cancer makes me feel sick to my stomach. I have no real words of comfort for you but I just wanted to send you a virtual hug My mum has terminal cancer and I now live in a constant state of anxiety. To see my mum scared and suffering makes me so sad for her every single day.  I pray that one day they find a way to control or cure this vicious disease.  And I hope that you can find comfort in your memories of your happy times with your husband. It sounds like you had a wonderful marriage - albeit way to short :-( 

  • Hi Miss_Sky

    Thank you for your lovely post,yes cancer really does suck! 

    I am a year down the line from my husbands passing and although I have a little normality now even if it is different to the one I had with my husband, I still cry most days and I miss him so much, it is very hard to see any future without him,so I really take just one day at a time. I am so sorry to hear your mum is terminal, this is awful news for you and to know she is scared also, my husband told everybody else he was scared but not me as he didn’t want to upset me! Still always thinking of me even though he knew he was going to die!!

    My good memories are slowly coming through but are still often shadowed by those last awful days! We did have a wonderful marriage, wold have been 30 years this year, I will always be grateful and lucky to have had him as my husband, a wonderful person inside and out!

    Spend as much time as you can with your mum, she will find your presence a big comfort especially if she is scared, she will not want to leave you and you won’t want her to leave you, it’s called a special motherly love, cancer can not and will never take that from you both!

    Hopefully one day these forums will not be needed when they find a cure, but in the meantime use them as they really do support you when you are at your lowest.

    I will be think of you and your mum,and am sending you a big hug and lots of love.

    Debbie 51 xx

Reply
  • Hi Miss_Sky

    Thank you for your lovely post,yes cancer really does suck! 

    I am a year down the line from my husbands passing and although I have a little normality now even if it is different to the one I had with my husband, I still cry most days and I miss him so much, it is very hard to see any future without him,so I really take just one day at a time. I am so sorry to hear your mum is terminal, this is awful news for you and to know she is scared also, my husband told everybody else he was scared but not me as he didn’t want to upset me! Still always thinking of me even though he knew he was going to die!!

    My good memories are slowly coming through but are still often shadowed by those last awful days! We did have a wonderful marriage, wold have been 30 years this year, I will always be grateful and lucky to have had him as my husband, a wonderful person inside and out!

    Spend as much time as you can with your mum, she will find your presence a big comfort especially if she is scared, she will not want to leave you and you won’t want her to leave you, it’s called a special motherly love, cancer can not and will never take that from you both!

    Hopefully one day these forums will not be needed when they find a cure, but in the meantime use them as they really do support you when you are at your lowest.

    I will be think of you and your mum,and am sending you a big hug and lots of love.

    Debbie 51 xx

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