Hi there ...

So sorry you lost your hubby to this crule cancer ... 

Don't worry, your just feeling all those feelings we get after loosing someone so close .. I think it feels like the world keeps moving, while your world has stopped .. everything has changed for you ... my partner lost his last wife to breast cancer, and he slowly retreated from reality ... he turned to drinking to for get .. even his 17 year old daughter fell out with her too .. as she was still going out .. he couldn't understand how she could do that after loosing her mum ..

In truth she was just trying to get through the day as best she could so she could cope with loosing mum and dad getting angry .. slowly he realised, everyone grieves differently ... no one way fits all .. everyone does it their own way .. and so many people around just don't know what to say .. and are scared of making things worse, so say nothing ... when l think all we need at those times are texts or calls, saying "thinking of you" 

So just know and let yourself feel whatever you need to to get through one more day, you are just finding a NEW normal ... it does come slowly ... but that first year is a raw year .. there's no easy way round it .. and try to forgive those around you for not understanding ... unless they go through the same grief, they can only guess what its like ... take baby steps .. so take care of your heart ...  chrissie x