I have found that triggers still happen even years after someone has died.  It is still painful to go to places where my son's father and I went on holidays when our son was a youngster.  Things like that.  Best to just remember how happy those things were and not let them make you feel that your stomach and guts are being held in a vice-like grip.  You're right about the weather but being British I can still complain about it - it is too hot sometimes!  Annie

I know, it's a shame because it's great to have free health care, but the waiting times are devastating. 

You have to know that you did everything you could for Liz. It must have been quite a shock for it all to happen so fast. 

Things happen very slowly with our system too. Which is a very bad combination when it's a fast acting cancer. 

Is there any way you might be eligible for some compensation? Do you feel that the hospital and/or staff neglected Liz's treatment?

Hi silly me of course you can complain  with being a brit i beleive its written in the magna carter that any british born subject may complain about the weather in any country they reside lol regards p

Hi the negligence solicitors are dealing with it be liz and i were partners in life and i was next of kin in the hopital when your partner dies your rights go but lizs daughter is dealing with it. I dont know if you read it but i put a post up warning about such things for anyone with kids or anything it can get very difficult especialy if theres no will its a cold fact hope some have read it and its helped them ime not in that position myself but i was just classed as a family friend after but ive pushed and pushed.its that liz will not be another statistic so as i did in life i can still help her in death even if nothing comes of it then i have done my best for liz .regards paul

Hi. I didn't see the post, but have read it now. Yes, it really is scary and quite stupid that couples aren't taken seriously in times of health crisis unless they are married. Where I live in Canada, common law have no rights what so ever. So if I die, my partner loses half of the house and half of all of our assets. They would get divided up between my side of the family. If I get sick and end up in hospital, he would potentially not even be allowed to visit if it was a family only situation. It's good that you posted about it, because most people believe that common law have the same rights as married couples do, but this couldn'tn be further from the truth! Everyone should have a will at the very least so that their wishes can be respected.

Absolutly liz did her will three years ago told me she was leaving me her car i told her i didnt want it but she said your having it do what you want with it. as i have my own car but never in my dreams did i expect it to happen or so soon and to me a will is an invitation to the reaper but ime doing one now for my adults childrens sake .when people are incurable the practicalities of life get forgot but after the stark realy comes in and they may even have no where to live like you said in your post yes i could make decisions while liz was in hospital as she had me down as next of kin but after as i said i was just nothing  . Regards p

Paul,

I am so sorry for your loss of Liz.  Grief is an interesting thing.  It sneaks in when you least expect it.  It hurts so much some days that words can't accurately describe it.  Liz would want you to live your life and not get stuck in the quick sand of grief.  Oh, I know it will still happen but if you consider her wishes for you, it might make it easier.  One thing I have found is that people don't know how to deal with other people's grief or their own for that matter.  Sometimes they have a hard time reaching out because it reminds them of their own morality.  Push yourself to reach out to your siblings and friends.  Ask them to meet you out for supper or go to a movie etc.  This site is a great place to find support.  Hang in there.

Hi thanks ime keeping my head above water very bad week .today not so bad. Sounds like you have had some troubles yourself you didnt say anything about yourself two way street on here thanks for your replie much appreciated .regards .p