I still can’t believe my dad has gone.

It’s coming up to 3 months since my dad died and I still can’t accept that he has gone. I carry I heavy ness around with me on my chest making it hard to breath. At night the pain is really bad and I see him laying in the bed dying and his face. I can’t seem to picture him before, I can barely look at a picture for a few seconds before it’s too painful. I can’t look ahead anymore, all my future seems to have gone and it’s too painful to even try and think about it as he isn’t going to be in it. I hope this is all normal because it doesn’t feel like it to me!

  • I googled, I still cant believe my dad has gone!! My dad died a month ago, yes we are still in denial. I am now looking after my mum most nights and also have 3 kids at home. Luckily my brothers help too. We know the pain will never go away and life will never be the same. We are lucky to have beautiful memories and my children are old enough to remember their granddad.

    Covid stopped us being with my dad before he died, so he died alone. This I will never accept.  Most days I feel angry that my dad was taken away so sudden and only at the age of 70, he hadn't retired fully to enjoy the rest of his life. Cancer took my poor dad away from us. 

    God Bless you all and reading all your comments made me feel I wasn't alone. Life does go on and my dad lives in us and my children xxxx 

  • I have been reading the posts and you are all truly amazing people. 
     

    I lost my dad just over one year ago. I talk about my dad every day. I have had feelings of I know my dad has gone, he past away peacefully with all of his children around him, but I also for a long time had a feeling that dad is away and I'll see him again.

     

    then today all of a sudden, I realised dad has gone and he is not coming back. The thought of thinking it is devestating.

     

    I just wanted to find out if anyone else

    had the same feelings with their grieving.

     

  • I'm writing this as the tears flow. I too posted I can't believe my Dad is gone as I've had an awful evening of uncontrollable crying. I lost the most precious person whom I adored on the 4th Dec to Cancer. We put him to rest on Christmas Eve with the hymn Silent Night. COVID didn't make it easy either but I was fortunate enough to be by his side when he passed. It's been two months, life carries on around you but there is a deep void within you. I just wish I could wake up 

    You are not alone, Dad’s are so special x

  • Hi everyone I'm new to this forum. I want to firstly say how lovely it is for all.of you to have somewhere such as here to share, support and to get things off your chest.

    My dad only has weeks to live and it just seem real. One minute I'm handling it then the next thing I'm a bundle of mess. It doesn't help that I suffer from mental health issues as I cope even less what is already a devastating Situation for anyone in the first place. To top it off, we also lost our beautiful staffy in Jan. Someone mentioned how nights are the worst for ruminating which is so true. How do others feel?

    Love to all 

  • Hi Cef,

    I am so sorry that your Dad has only weeks to live, it must be truly devstating for you all to know this and try to get through each day with that heartbreak. My Mum was diagnosed with advanced incureable cancer in February, she started a chemo drug in March and died last month from covid pneumonia/cancer. We never had a timeline given to us and we never asked. I always believed Mum could pull through and outlive their statistics because she had got through cancer 3 years previously and I felt she was almost superhuman at times. I guess I just never wanted to face what was staring right at me, that Mum had a life sentence that she wasn't going to get over. I can understand your pain and also with the mental health. I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks and this has just tipped me nearly at times. I am trying to stay strong because I know if I don't what then? Please reach out to your GP for help, they can advice or refer you to someone who may be able to give you some extra support.

    I am sorry you lost your dog too. My Dog, nelson is keeping me going right now. Would you be able to get another dog in the near future? Their uncomplicated natures and unconditional love can be life savers.

    Nigh times were terrible for me when Mum was alive. I kept listening to see if she needed me. Checking my mobile. getting up to go in her room and see her. When she was in hospital I simply hardly slept. I think this is completely normal with what you are going through. Please speak to someone and make sure you are supported.

    Here if you need to talk. Please know that there are people out there to help you and even if its just to chat on here, we will help in anyway we can.

    Jane

  • Hi ChrissyJ, thankyou for your kind words. I'm so sorry about what you have/are going through. Have you much support? I'm under a mental health team which is good although the services are inundated understandably and so sometimes you have to wait for help. And losing Brody was horrendous as you are right in that we got unconditional love he was so loving and funny. Life is so cruel at times hey. Sending all my love.

    Clair x