Hi there ... Sadly there's no time limit on grief ... Everyone is different and there's no right or wrong way .. loosing a mum, I think is the second hardest thing that happens in life , second only to loosing a child ..

I think for me the first year was like raw grief ... It's just getting through one day at a time ... And every feeling your having is part of loosing someone we were blessed to have had in our lives ... 

The pain does grow less, slowly ... But you never stop missing them ... I still have a feeling when I pass my mum's old house that if I go there she will still be in her kitchen cooking me crispy chips ... And my mum's been gone 29 years ago ... 

But remember your mum now lives in your heart ... You are her, she made you ... So be kind to your self, and know your brain is trying to make sense of everything that you've gone through ... It just takes time ...and know lots of us have walked this path your on ... We know how it feels ... So sending you a vertual hug ... Chrissie x

Thank you Chrissie that was very well said. I do need to be kinder to myself, especially thinking that I'm all I have left of her, really. 29 years and still feeling like you could just pop over for food...wow...I guess this is really going to be a life long feeling. We become changed as people when we lose parents, don't we?

Hi there ... 

My lads still put pictures of them with my mum ...and still say how wonderfull she was ...

Now I'm not religious as such, but found a u tube of wise words by Buddhists and I love their thinking ... one said "don't cry because you loose someone ... smile because you were blessed to have had them in your life" ... so many have parents that never cared ...

And a book by Paul McKenna on "how to mend a broken heart" helped me and people close who were drowning in grief ... he says when it feels overwhelming close you eyes ... remember the loveliest memory you have of them ... relive that memory over and over ... word for word ... remember how they looked ... remember how it made you feel ... slowly ... until the tears are replaced by a smile ...  it may help you at night ... 

And in the first year, when I lost my wonderfull untie that was so full of life, and she'd make you laugh the minute we sore her ... she was the first one I'd ever lost ... in my head I just said she was out today, I'll see her next week ... and carried on doing that, so although I knew she'd gone, it made my thoughts liveable with ... 

I believe they stay around us in hard times ... we just can't see them ... but I live my life trying to make them proud up there ... so they'd look down and say "that's my girl" so try to find a way of helping others .. you know what this pain is like and there's so many charities wanting volunteers. . The homeless ... my heart goes out to them, they have no home or family ... and I love getting xmas parcels with bits in for them ... and I get them chocky and a drink now... and always stop and ask how they are doing ... l get far more back from them, and they just want to be treated kindly ... 

Try to fill that gap in your life with something ... you have a lot to give ... and when you see others suffering, it eases your feelings knowing your not alone ... here any time you want a chat ... these are just things that helped me ... Chrissie 

As Chrissie has said, everyone's grieving process is different.  I was knocked over sideways when my Dad died; he'd been ill for a long time but even so the going was sudden and unexpected. I took a long time to recover. My Mum had very bad Alzheimer's and was in a home, so her passing was more of a relief, initially at least.  Then a few weeks later it hit me BLAM, and I couldn't stop crying. 

So, what you're going through is normal.  I know it's no consolation right now, but you will get through this and come to terms with the situation, but no one can predict how long that will take. 

You might find it useful to write a final letter to your mum. Put in it everything you meant to say but never got round to saying while she was still alive.  When the letter is finished, obviously you can't post it, so either burn it, or put it in a safe place where you might find it again in 10 years time.