Hi sven nothing wrong with what your doing on here.this a club none of us want to be in but in it we are .ive lost a grandchild and the love of my life .so i can say i know how it is ive been grieving a month iv gone out and got some bereavment counciling its not a miricical cure but helps slightly i find that putting something ahead of me to look forward to each week has kept me going and some of the kind people on this sites coments have made me feel not so alone so talk talk talk till your sick of talking  .so sorry for your loss just beware of the false guilt the inner critic we have keeps trying to punnish us with .the shoulda coulda thats the worse thing to start  sounds to me you should pat yourself on the back the care you gave . Regards p