Hi there Sandy... oh hunny your still in the first year of grieving and l think of it as the raw year ..

We all have what ifs and if we could turn back time ...      I could av stopped my housework one Monday morning to take my mum to her O A P club .. but there she was on the phone saying she was fine, the bus stops just outside her house ... she ended with "  see you tomorrow, love" ......well at 5.20 that day I got a call to say she'd had massive heart attack.... I rushed to hospital, but she'd gone ... I'd never get that chance to hold her one more time, tell her how amazing she was ... all for what ... housework ...

Yes like you that will always be in the back of my mind ... but you know, I bet my mum and your hubby would say ... hay, stop thinking those things ... it's just, o.k ... and if hes anything like my mum , if he can look down and see you, he would be so proud of you ... sometimes we have to accept things we cannot change ... and when you look at the children you made together ... there he'll be, right there in them ...

Nothing will stop us missing them ... but I try to do things in mum's memory... she had the kindest heart and helped everyone and she touched the heart of strangers ... and you do know what he'd say to you .. it's in your heart ... and they don't really leave they just wait for one tomorrow when we join them .. 

So please when the memories feel too unbearable ... think of the best, funniest memory you have of him ... relive every word , every look, remember how you felt and do this second by second , until the pain is replaced by a smile ... this has seen me through some sad days ... it's about balancing feelings ... so sending you caring thoughts ... and a big hug, your braver then you give yourself credit for ... Chrissie

Hi there Sandy... oh hunny your still in the first year of grieving and l think of it as the raw year ..

We all have what ifs and if we could turn back time ...      I could av stopped my housework one Monday morning to take my mum to her O A P club .. but there she was on the phone saying she was fine, the bus stops just outside her house ... she ended with "  see you tomorrow, love" ......well at 5.20 that day I got a call to say she'd had massive heart attack.... I rushed to hospital, but she'd gone ... I'd never get that chance to hold her one more time, tell her how amazing she was ... all for what ... housework ...

Yes like you that will always be in the back of my mind ... but you know, I bet my mum and your hubby would say ... hay, stop thinking those things ... it's just, o.k ... and if hes anything like my mum , if he can look down and see you, he would be so proud of you ... sometimes we have to accept things we cannot change ... and when you look at the children you made together ... there he'll be, right there in them ...

Nothing will stop us missing them ... but I try to do things in mum's memory... she had the kindest heart and helped everyone and she touched the heart of strangers ... and you do know what he'd say to you .. it's in your heart ... and they don't really leave they just wait for one tomorrow when we join them .. 

So please when the memories feel too unbearable ... think of the best, funniest memory you have of him ... relive every word , every look, remember how you felt and do this second by second , until the pain is replaced by a smile ... this has seen me through some sad days ... it's about balancing feelings ... so sending you caring thoughts ... and a big hug, your braver then you give yourself credit for ... Chrissie

Hi Chrissie thank you so much for replying. It has really helped to know others have felt the same way. I am taking my children and grandchildren to the Isle of Wight next month. My husband loved it there and I thought I will be nice to all be together. I guess it just takes time but some days it feels unbearable doesn't it? Much love sandy