Hi Jolley, it is scary when you read the amount of posts from people who mirror your situation. We lost my mum on 22 June 2019 following a brave battle against breast cancer, short time in remission and diagnosis of cancer returning in liver, spine and sternum. Mum was only 61years of age. Too young like your mum. I also threw myself into work. I had only started a new job and after 17 years in my previous employment I thought it would be easier with people not knowing my situation but it feels like my world has fallen apart and the world is so cruel for putting my mum and others like her through that pain and suffering. Family and friends are so supportive and I know they are hurting too. The anger keeps me going and my daughter who is four but life without mum is such a struggle and emotional turmoil

Hi 

So sorry to hear of the passing of your mum 

My mum (50) passed away April this year , 3 month's after b3ing diagnosed with lung cancer to then be told 2 weeks later that it was terminal ....im 25 im finding it so hard to cope ... my mum was literally my best friend i turned to her about everything ...im kept busy most days but its night time that really gets to me as well as lack of sleep and as well panic attacks,  I went to the doctors about not being able to sleep feeling very down etc they suggested anti depressants but I'm not one for tablets so cruse bereavement counselling was suggested I'm start in September it's maybe something that would help? 

The world is too cruel and for me I keep thinking why couldn't it be the bad people that gets things like this...

My mum was also a nurse that helped people in their last month's/weeks/days so I find myself thinking this alot with alot of anger  questions why? Why my mum? Why so young? Such a caring person .... 

Hope this helps

Hi Cmae I am so sorry for your loss. I am 38 years of age and thought even at my age it was so cruel to lose my mum so young. I think at any age we are never prepared to deal with the loss of a parent. They should be around  well into a ripe old age and not suffer something so cruel. My mum was also my best friend, my advisor, my world. The anger against the world and why someone so kind and hard working like my mum should be gone while their is badness out there also keeps me going. I hear her voice in my head imagining just what she would say to comfort me in times of need and I hope I never lose that. I hope counseling helps if anything to help you deal with panic attacks. I am also someone who doesn't take tablets and it's nice to know that your GP could refer u to counselling. My sister and brother would chat with me but everyone has their own way of dealing with things. I find the quiet of night is when I get most emotional and I bring out old photos and enjoy the memories. It never gets easier I know but am told that as hard as it sounds it does get easier to cope. Your mum would be so proud of you approaching your GP. She did such an amazing job none of us could comprehend and I understand your struggle for her to be given such an awful diagnosis after all the love and kindness she provided. Keep strong and we are always here in the thread to chat 

Alli.p

Hiya Alli.P,

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your mum and at such a young age.

You sound very similar to me as one minute I'm angry then the next crying. As you say though we have to carry on for our young ones, I have a little boy who is also four. As time has passed I have been able to smile and laugh at memories of her.

I have taken comfort from this page as although it's horrible to share such a thing, but nice that someone understands.

Take care xxx

Hiya Cmae,

I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your mum and at such a young age.

It is hard to deal with and I too get angry thinking why wasn't it someome horrible that was made to suffer.

You're mum sounds like a fantastic lady who help people at the worst time of their lives. I cannot thank the nurses who helped my mum enough.

I was the same with panic attacks and I'm not one for antidepressants either. I have however just put my name down for grief counselling, so thanks for that. Hope it helps a little when you start.

Take care xxx

Hi it's so nice to find a chat room where people feel like I do. No one seems to understand how I feel. I lost my mum last April 2018. She was an amazing woman who I went to for anything . She loved my girls and I so much and would do anything for us. She died of cancer and was taken from us too soon , she was 71. My dad has now anounced he has met someone new , what I've hear she is making him happy but I just can't except it, I can't visualize her next to him. I am overwhelmed with grief and am too loyal to my mum to meet her. I know I will just break down and cry. 

Everybody is happy for him and can't understand why I feel the way I do . Is it just me or does anyone else feel like me .

Thanks Julie 

Hiya Julie265,

I'm so very sorry to hear about your mum and losing her to this horrible disease. She sounds like she was a wonderful mum and best friend.

It's hard for some to understand and everyone is different in how they cope with these things. You have to grieve however and for as long as you need to. It's something we will never get over, but unfortunately have to learn to live with as time goes on. It's been 2 years for me now and it still feels like yesterday.

I also understand about your dad being with someone else as my dad is too. It wasn't long after mum passed, so that has also added to the pain. A few people seem to think I should be ok with it, but I'm just not. It doesn't feel right him being with someone who isn't my mum, so I have kept my distance. Again people need to understand that just because they are ok with it, it doesn't mean you have to be too.

I really do feel your pain Julie, it's like a club that you don't want to be a member of, before you go through it, you never fully understand  xxx

I lost my mum who had dementia , she passed away from pneumonia , I don't think I will ever get over it , I cry  every night ,  I have 3 brothers also one lives near me , but I am only daughter , my mum was 77 ,it was recently  her birthday then Xmas , she was in a care home , but was with her in hospital when she passed away .