I am so sorry for your loss I know exactly how you feel.  I lost my dad to bowel cancer 5 years ago and I still miss him everyday. Mid 2018 my mum was diagnosed with rogue breast cancer, basically she has breast cancer in her bones.  It has been a long road, while she was in hospital for 6 weeks at first they thought she had a broken bone in her back and then they found that a tumor had caused the bone to break and things went from there.  It can be hard and lonely supporting a parent with cancer.  Nobody explains that the only time you really feel like a grown up is when your become a parent to your parent. And that can be lonely.  I know what it is like to lose friends after a bearevement.  My best friend of 20 years (we went to high school together) abandoned me because my own chronic illness got worse after this and between the two and having to deal with a bullying manager, and my beautiful little dog who was like a substitute daughter dying a few months after my dad. I could no longer make small talk, I was ill and supporting my mum throughout.  Now that I am a carer it would be nice to have some support of people who understand.  I am glad you have your husband but please if you have any friends who want to be there but don't know how encourage them and talk to them cry on their shoulder, its ok.  Tell them that you are feeling lost and lonely. A real friend would be there for you, with a kind ear, a cuppa and a hug. If they don't want to be then they aren't real friends.  Real friends are there for you through thick and thin and you should be there for them too.  Even if they havent been through it some people do understand and care, those that are, are thoughtful and selfless.  I wish I had someone who wanted to spend time with me and cared about what I was going through. Maybe you have other relatives you could talk to about your mum.  I know how nice it was for me and my mum to go and visit my aunt (my dad's big sister) and to talk about him and her memories. She was my surrogate gran,  unfortunately she died last year. I like to think that she is with my dad now,  She died of dementia it was a quick kind though and she was nearly 90. However since my dads death I have lost another uncle (dad's brother) and two cousins on my dads side to cancer. Three other cousins have also died in this time of other things.  Its been a hard few years. 

I am so sorry I started trying to be supportive to you and started talking about my situation, I am sorry I have been having a down day. But I really hope that you are finding your way.  It can be slow progress, grieving comes in stages and it can take a long time.  You think you are ok then something happens an event, a smell, photo food and it washes over you again. I had people (one of whom was an uncle) only a couple of months after my dad died tell me to get over it. The thing was I hadn't even started grieving yet. I didn't make a point of moaning to anyone.  For my mums sake and to get on with work (I had to go back the day after the funeral) I just put things in a box in my head for a while.  I had a bullying boss at work and then my own physical illness started playing up.  I only started really grieving after those situations had got a bit beta. This took a couple of years. After it stopped then things came flooding in and I would just start crying.  So don't let people tell you how to grieve.  Yes you can do some things to help yourself but only you will find your own way to cope and your own path through.   I hope that you will find your way through and hold on to all your wonderful memories. There is nothing to stop you still talking to her I  know some people do that, my aunt did.  I gave some of my relatives a canvas picture of my dad the first xmas after he died and my aunt said she would talk to it occasionally when no one was around and tell him stuff as if he was still here.  It made her feel comforted. Take care, my thoughts are with you.

I am so sorry for your loss I know exactly how you feel.  I lost my dad to bowel cancer 5 years ago and I still miss him everyday. Mid 2018 my mum was diagnosed with rogue breast cancer, basically she has breast cancer in her bones.  It has been a long road, while she was in hospital for 6 weeks at first they thought she had a broken bone in her back and then they found that a tumor had caused the bone to break and things went from there.  It can be hard and lonely supporting a parent with cancer.  Nobody explains that the only time you really feel like a grown up is when your become a parent to your parent. And that can be lonely.  I know what it is like to lose friends after a bearevement.  My best friend of 20 years (we went to high school together) abandoned me because my own chronic illness got worse after this and between the two and having to deal with a bullying manager, and my beautiful little dog who was like a substitute daughter dying a few months after my dad. I could no longer make small talk, I was ill and supporting my mum throughout.  Now that I am a carer it would be nice to have some support of people who understand.  I am glad you have your husband but please if you have any friends who want to be there but don't know how encourage them and talk to them cry on their shoulder, its ok.  Tell them that you are feeling lost and lonely. A real friend would be there for you, with a kind ear, a cuppa and a hug. If they don't want to be then they aren't real friends.  Real friends are there for you through thick and thin and you should be there for them too.  Even if they havent been through it some people do understand and care, those that are, are thoughtful and selfless.  I wish I had someone who wanted to spend time with me and cared about what I was going through. Maybe you have other relatives you could talk to about your mum.  I know how nice it was for me and my mum to go and visit my aunt (my dad's big sister) and to talk about him and her memories. She was my surrogate gran,  unfortunately she died last year. I like to think that she is with my dad now,  She died of dementia it was a quick kind though and she was nearly 90. However since my dads death I have lost another uncle (dad's brother) and two cousins on my dads side to cancer. Three other cousins have also died in this time of other things.  Its been a hard few years. 

I am so sorry I started trying to be supportive to you and started talking about my situation, I am sorry I have been having a down day. But I really hope that you are finding your way.  It can be slow progress, grieving comes in stages and it can take a long time.  You think you are ok then something happens an event, a smell, photo food and it washes over you again. I had people (one of whom was an uncle) only a couple of months after my dad died tell me to get over it. The thing was I hadn't even started grieving yet. I didn't make a point of moaning to anyone.  For my mums sake and to get on with work (I had to go back the day after the funeral) I just put things in a box in my head for a while.  I had a bullying boss at work and then my own physical illness started playing up.  I only started really grieving after those situations had got a bit beta. This took a couple of years. After it stopped then things came flooding in and I would just start crying.  So don't let people tell you how to grieve.  Yes you can do some things to help yourself but only you will find your own way to cope and your own path through.   I hope that you will find your way through and hold on to all your wonderful memories. There is nothing to stop you still talking to her I  know some people do that, my aunt did.  I gave some of my relatives a canvas picture of my dad the first xmas after he died and my aunt said she would talk to it occasionally when no one was around and tell him stuff as if he was still here.  It made her feel comforted. Take care, my thoughts are with you.