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My mum has passed. How can she be gone?

jess44637
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My beautiful mum passed away today.

Excuse my french but what the ***.

I don't understand what we are all doing here. I feel empty and numb and I hate all of this. 

How can she be gone? I don't believe in there being a god or any of that, and if he does exist he is a ***. I just find it so hard to comprehend that she is gone. What does gone mean? We saw her body and it was cold but she wasn't there. Where did she go? Is she watching down on us? I just don't understand how someone can just stop existing. 

I hope she is somewhere in the universe, able to watch down on us. I just wish I could tell her how much I love her. 

I hate that any of us have to go through this. I hate cancer.

She was only 48, and I'm 18 supposed to start uni next year. It feels like such a lonely journey now. A life without mum, without people who understand. My life ahead seems so tedious and long now, to be spent without her. And my dad, and my brother, who is only 16, they don't deserve this. No one does. I don't know how we are going to get through this. I feel so lonely. My heart is broken. She needed to be here for us. Dad said her biggest fear was leaving my brother and I. Why did she have to go? 

I uploaded a photo of her and I as my profile picture.. I wish she could smile and be happy like that again.

 

Mum, I love you so so so much. You are in my heart forever, and I will miss you until the day I die. I hope in another world I will get to see you again and we can be together forever. I want to hold on to you so tight and never let you go, but you are gone now. I miss you, I love you, my heart is broken for you. Maybe in an alternate reality none of this happened and you are alive, and we are happy and unbroken xxx 

 

Parents
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    I am so sad to have read this, I know exactly how you feel. My mum was taken just a few weeks ago and it is the worst thing especially so young- I don't know how I will go through life without my mum and those phone calls and all her advice. 

     

    I have so so many questions too like can she hear me / see me and is she ok. We have to hope our mums can still watch over us. I talk to mine everyday but I miss her replies so so much. 

    We are taking things hour by hour and day by day and spending time together. Christmas is so so hard- you don't need to do it this year. Whatever feels right for you guys. We are doing an alternative thing because it's too painful otherwise. 

    My heart goes out to you- trust that she is there with you. I've had a few moments of feeling someone next to me and I feel like it's her which might seem weird but perhaps you might have the same. 

     

    Sending love and strength your way- remember take things hour by hour xxx

     

Reply
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    I am so sad to have read this, I know exactly how you feel. My mum was taken just a few weeks ago and it is the worst thing especially so young- I don't know how I will go through life without my mum and those phone calls and all her advice. 

     

    I have so so many questions too like can she hear me / see me and is she ok. We have to hope our mums can still watch over us. I talk to mine everyday but I miss her replies so so much. 

    We are taking things hour by hour and day by day and spending time together. Christmas is so so hard- you don't need to do it this year. Whatever feels right for you guys. We are doing an alternative thing because it's too painful otherwise. 

    My heart goes out to you- trust that she is there with you. I've had a few moments of feeling someone next to me and I feel like it's her which might seem weird but perhaps you might have the same. 

     

    Sending love and strength your way- remember take things hour by hour xxx

     

Children
  • Offline in reply to missmymum111

    I don't know how I will go on without my mum either. I can't help thinking how things should be. And my poor dad as well, it's just so unfair. I feel like we are all so lonely now. I know the pain will ease and we will learn to live without her, but that isn't the way it should be. Even writing this down, I can't believe she isn't here.

    So sorry about you losing your mum also, I just hope we will see them again one day x

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