I'm so sorry for your loss, the way you described your relationship with your mum was so like mine with my wonderful mum who passed only 2 weeks ago. The pain is horrendous and sometimes I feel that I'll never stop crying. She was a wonderful person and loved by everyone who knew her. I wish I could offer you comfort but at least, we have been so lucky to have had wonderful brave mums who would want us to be strong and go on with our lives. I don't think that the void can ever be filled... Xxxx

Hi, I wonder if anyone can help me. My mum recently (July) passed away after a three year battle with lung cancer. Although she was poorly it still came as a massive shock as she was having treatment and I suppose I just wanted so desperately for it to be working. She was 73. Four days after losing my mum my dad suddenly passed away, he hadn't been ill and I had been with him that night talking about and remembering mum. They had been married over 50 years. The paramedic said it was broken heart syndrome. I can't begin to describe the grief, I feel like I can't breathe. Part of me still doesn't believe it. The last three years have been devoted to my mum and her cancer and now she's gone and so has dad and I feel like I can't cope. My world centred around them, we were so close. It's been a few months now and I feel no better, still heartbroken and empty and I cannot see a way forward. I am trying to take things one day at a time but with Christmas looming I can't cope. I have family and  a young daughter but I can't deal with her grief when I'm still full of my own. The world just carries on but my world stopped. When will it get better?

Hi sara46,

I'm sorry to hear about your mum as well. Even though nearly 5 months has passed for me it feels like minutes ago that I last sat and chatted with her, saw her and were living our normal lives. The last 5 months have been a blur x

Its horrible isnt it, you try to get on with things the best you can but only as you have to.

I just feel that nothing makes me happy these days, I dont want to do things part from things I have to do (like work) I go home every weekend checking on my poor Dad but do not feel I can even comfort him.

Please, if you need anytihng just ask x

Thanks sara 

I'm the same. I go to work because I have to. I do the washing, gardening, cleaning, food shopping because I have to.

Nothing gives me joy (apart from my precious partner and daughter) and I'm drifting through my days on auto pilot.

Mum was such a massive part of our day to day life. I didn't even think of her as old. I thought she had many more years in front of her.

Life is awful and rubbish and there are so many of us suffering.

Cheryl x

Thats so how i feel as well Cheryl, for the first time in years I look forward to coming to work, people try and help and say nice things but unless you have been though this they would never understand.

I am glad you have a partner there to support you, bet that helps having him around, as everyone keeps telling me it will  take time and give mysefl a chance to grief (easier said that done) x

Sara

Having a partner is lovely but I still feel very much alone alot of the time. Me and mum were joined at the hip and so close. Neither my partner or daughter fully understand the loss or the need I have to isolate myself and be on my own at times.

Having no parents left has had a very detrimental effect on me, my life, my health and my outlook.

Cheryl x

I wish I could help you, if you need anything please just ask x

Thank you. You too x

I can relate to everything each of you are saying. The heartbreak is at times all consuming. Suddenly becoming 'head of the family' as such is something I cant get my head around. I went to my mum and dads today after a few weeks of not being able to face it. We haven't touched anything in the house since they passed and it feels like they have just popped to the shops. I think all the time there was funeral preparations to make I felt like I had purpose, we held a joint funeral which is how they would have wanted it but afterwards there is nothing, just emptiness. I'm sure people think I should have pulled myself together by now but I can't. My husband and daughter are great but I feel like I want to lock myself away and scream. I am so very sorry for each and every one of you that has lost a parent and reading your stories has made me realise that maybe I'm not as on my own as I think I am and that a lot of the feelings and anger I have is a normal part of grieving. Thank you.

Hi leam

I can not even imagine how you feel losing both parents so close together, I have always known my Dad as a strong person thought out my life but since my Mum died have seen such a different side to him, I am trying my hardest to be strong for him but breaking myself inside, please don't ever feel alone, as there are so many people on here that do understand and have been though the same as we all have. 
 
If you ever feel alone or want a chat, please just message me, anyone on here that feels the same please, some times sharing the way you feel with others that are going through the same helps! X

Thank you so much, everyone has been so kind even when you are all going through the same grief, it's humbling. In the four days after mum died I felt cross with my dad and I worry that he knew it although I tried to hide it. I had been with mum and dad all day as I had been for the three years since mum was diagnosed but mum passed in the early hours of the morning with just dad there, it is how she would have wanted it. I know I'm being selfish and unreasonable but I was hurt that my dad telephoned my brother and sister but he let the neighbour ring me to tell me mum had gone. I felt so hurt by this and I'm worried that dad knew I was upset with him. I keep replaying those four days over and over trying to find answers. 

Thank you so much, everyone has been so kind even when you are all going through the same grief, it's humbling. In the four days after mum died I felt cross with my dad and I worry that he knew it although I tried to hide it. I had been with mum and dad all day as I had been for the three years since mum was diagnosed but mum passed in the early hours of the morning with just dad there, it is how she would have wanted it. I know I'm being selfish and unreasonable but I was hurt that my dad telephoned my brother and sister but he let the neighbour ring me to tell me mum had gone. I felt so hurt by this and I'm worried that dad knew I was upset with him. I keep replaying those four days over and over trying to find answers. 

Trust me, your Dad would off understood it wasn't personally to him just your grief talking, don't feel guilty as you have enough to deal with, your mum and dad where lucky to have you there though it all.

i was by my mums side when she died and trust me, you wouldn't off wanted to see that as I can't get that out off my head, remember your mum how she was!!! X 

Did you visit your mum in the chapel of rest? Mum and dad were put in coffins side by side and covered with a blanket to look like they were in bed sleeping. It was a nice touch. I did mums hair and makeup but she didn't look like my mum. My dad looked just as he did when he was here, just asleep. Dad passed instantly while he was talking about mum, although the paramedics tried for 50 minutes to revive him, I wonder if that's why he looked peaceful. My mum however looked pained and frightened in the chapel of rest and that image has stayed with me. I visited the chapel everyday cos just seeing them comforted me. How are you feeling now? Do you think it will ever get easier?

No I didn't visit her there, we only found out mum had cancer in May, we where never told it was terminal or only had a little while left, she wasn't doing to bad, we where all dealing with it the best we could and talking about doing things she always wanted to do, then she took a turn for the worse, the hospital said they couldn't do anything for her so Mum & Dad decided she would die at home with the help off hospice nurses, I moved in with them for a week and half and myself and Dad took it in turns to sit by her bed thoughout the night, she died on the Friday morning with my Dad and me by her side, I don't know if she new we where there as the last three days she was so sedated as was in a lot of pain and didn't even move or speak in them 3 days,  I think for me, only finding out 3 months before then her dieing its what's eating me up inside, I never had time to do things we talked about or say the things I wanted to say, I know she know what I thought but it happened so quickly and Being there when she died, that's the image I try to forgot but I am struggling with x 

I'm so sorry to hear what you and your family went through, it's such a cruel disease. It is so hard watching someone you adore deteriorate like that and I'm sure you gave great comfort to your mum and dad having you there. I'm sure your mum knew you were there. How is your dad coping? My dad just didn't want to be without mum after all that time and I know mum would have wanted him with her. I needed him hear but I guess mum needed him more. Do you feel angry when you see the world carrying on around you like nothing has happened when your world has been devastated. Thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me, it's such a release to talk to someone that is in   a similar position but not a part of the family. 
huge hugs xx