I'm so sorry for your loss, the way you described your relationship with your mum was so like mine with my wonderful mum who passed only 2 weeks ago. The pain is horrendous and sometimes I feel that I'll never stop crying. She was a wonderful person and loved by everyone who knew her. I wish I could offer you comfort but at least, we have been so lucky to have had wonderful brave mums who would want us to be strong and go on with our lives. I don't think that the void can ever be filled... Xxxx

Hi, I wonder if anyone can help me. My mum recently (July) passed away after a three year battle with lung cancer. Although she was poorly it still came as a massive shock as she was having treatment and I suppose I just wanted so desperately for it to be working. She was 73. Four days after losing my mum my dad suddenly passed away, he hadn't been ill and I had been with him that night talking about and remembering mum. They had been married over 50 years. The paramedic said it was broken heart syndrome. I can't begin to describe the grief, I feel like I can't breathe. Part of me still doesn't believe it. The last three years have been devoted to my mum and her cancer and now she's gone and so has dad and I feel like I can't cope. My world centred around them, we were so close. It's been a few months now and I feel no better, still heartbroken and empty and I cannot see a way forward. I am trying to take things one day at a time but with Christmas looming I can't cope. I have family and  a young daughter but I can't deal with her grief when I'm still full of my own. The world just carries on but my world stopped. When will it get better?

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. My one comfort is that they are together. I haven't been to a counsellor, I was on tablets for anxiety prior to all this and have doubled the dosage in an attempt to numb the pain. I suppose I find it difficult because the world just carries on but if I could I would never get out of bed. I want to wallow and cry all day but I just can't think too much as I'm not sure I would ever stop if I started. Thank you again for taking the time to respond xx

Hi leam,

I'm so sorry to hear about your mum and dad and although I dont know how to help you, I can reassure you that there are plenty of us in the same boat. I lost my dad at 53 to a massive heart attack. I was 27. 4 months ago I lost my amazing mum to a sudden brain haemorrhage.

I have cried for 21 weeks solidly and the last couple of days I've suddenly stopped crying. I just feel so numb and disinterested in anything. I look after my 12 year old daughter and keep the house going and manage to go to work where I give 50 percent of what i used to. I have no interest in music or socialising. I rarely smile and i feel like I'm just existing.

I think we just have to throw ourselves into our young daughters and plod through life congratulating ourselves on getting through another day. 

The time of the year isn't helping and I'm hoping things might get a bit brighter in the new year although without my lovely mum by my side I doubt it.

Thinking of you.

Cheryl x

Hi There

I am so sorry to hear what has happend to both your parents, My Mum passed away on 13th Sep after only findng out she had cancer in May this year so I totally under stand and get where your coming from.

I do not have a partner or any children, only my Dad left, and the same as yours they had been married 50 years, reading your post is exctalty how I feel and I wish someone could put Chrtismtams on hold this year.

If i can help or you  just need a chat please just message me x

Hi sara46,

I'm sorry to hear about your mum as well. Even though nearly 5 months has passed for me it feels like minutes ago that I last sat and chatted with her, saw her and were living our normal lives. The last 5 months have been a blur x

Its horrible isnt it, you try to get on with things the best you can but only as you have to.

I just feel that nothing makes me happy these days, I dont want to do things part from things I have to do (like work) I go home every weekend checking on my poor Dad but do not feel I can even comfort him.

Please, if you need anytihng just ask x

Thanks sara 

I'm the same. I go to work because I have to. I do the washing, gardening, cleaning, food shopping because I have to.

Nothing gives me joy (apart from my precious partner and daughter) and I'm drifting through my days on auto pilot.

Mum was such a massive part of our day to day life. I didn't even think of her as old. I thought she had many more years in front of her.

Life is awful and rubbish and there are so many of us suffering.

Cheryl x

Thats so how i feel as well Cheryl, for the first time in years I look forward to coming to work, people try and help and say nice things but unless you have been though this they would never understand.

I am glad you have a partner there to support you, bet that helps having him around, as everyone keeps telling me it will  take time and give mysefl a chance to grief (easier said that done) x

Sara

Having a partner is lovely but I still feel very much alone alot of the time. Me and mum were joined at the hip and so close. Neither my partner or daughter fully understand the loss or the need I have to isolate myself and be on my own at times.

Having no parents left has had a very detrimental effect on me, my life, my health and my outlook.

Cheryl x

I wish I could help you, if you need anything please just ask x

Thank you. You too x

Thank you. You too x