Did you go and see your mum? 
my mum passed last Monday and now I am in the same position as you- I don't know whether to go and see my mum in the chapel of rest or not - I'm scared she won't look like her and once I've seen her I can't unsee her. 
I miss her so much and I'm in such denial I'm so scared 

Did you go and see your mum? 
my mum passed last Monday and now I am in the same position as you- I don't know whether to go and see my mum in the chapel of rest or not - I'm scared she won't look like her and once I've seen her I can't unsee her. 
I miss her so much and I'm in such denial I'm so scared 

I am so sorry for your loss. 
I still miss my mum so so much and it's 4 years this year.

I did go and see her in the chapel of rest and really glad I did it.

I wrote her a letter and gave her some photos. She looked so peaceful. I spent around 15 minutes with her and it 100% helped me to say goodbye. 
 

No one can make up your mind for you, it's a personal choice but it did help me.

hope that helps.

xxx

I'm still very much in denial. I can't accept she's gone.

im just waiting for her to call me or turn up at my door. 
I miss her hugs and voice - I want her to promise me everything will be ok x 

does the pain lessen?

I want to know she's somewhere and not no where if that makes sense- I'm waiting for a sign or call telling me she arrived safely 

Hi Jade,

I am sorry for the loss of your Mum, my Mum passed away in May and like you I am still in denial I think. We lived together and I still feel she is coming home at some point because her bedroom is still the same and her side table in the living room still has her glasses case on it along with her other items. I am devastated by the last few months of memories I have especially the last week in hospital, traumatic is putting it mildly. She was my world. How do we carry on without them? But we do because we have to and they would want us to. Your message where you say "I miss her hugs and voice - I want her to promise me everything will be ok" that really struck me because I feel this too. Everything that has happened in my mind life, all the bad things, even if Mum couldn't stop them happening she always, always was there for me, supporting me, and that in itself made it eventually acceptable and ok. Now she is gone and I am facing the worse time of my life and the very person I need to talk to, to get a hug, to tell me that I will get through this and it will be ok isn't there, she is gone and I NEED her. Does the pain lessen? Right now I am wondering this too. I think we become 'use' to it over the years perhaps, maybe something in the future will bring a sharp painful memory back and the pain will be like now - raw, unbearable, but perhaps in the future there will be longer periods where the pain is more acceptable, more tolerable. The pain of losing someone we loved beyong anything won't go but having heard from others that have alreadly been through what we are going through now they say they learn to live with the pain, we still hold that grief but we live around it and I guess it becomes part of our life and of who we now are, because I already feel a different person. I always said to my Mum that when one day I would be without her I would never be the same 'Jane' as when she were in my life. There would be a 'Jane' with her and a very different 'Jane' without her. This is true. I am trying to see a future where I live a good, full life like she wished for me with all her heart until we are (hopefully) together again. I have had 1 sign that really I couldn't explain apart from that no other signs yet, I am still hoping for them. I just want to know she is happy and safe somewhere. Thats it.

Jane

Hey! Did you go to the chapel of rest? My Dad passed 3 weeks ago and it's his funeral in 6 days. I'm really torn about whether to go and see him at the chapel of rest. I wasn't with him when he passed- he waited until we had all left the hospice however I was back there within half an hour and was given time alone with him to say goodbye. I'm not sure if that was enough for me or whether I should go and see him again?

I went to see my mother in law 8 years ago and it was incredibly traumatic. The amount of drugs she was on had made her look totally different and it literally traumatised me for about 2 years. 
 

But (and no disrespect to my mother in law) but this is MY dad. My absolute hero. 
im so torn xx

I couldn't do it - I got a family member to take a photo so if I am ready one day I can see the clothes I dressed her in and see how beautiful she looked- but no I didn't go- my auntie said she looked different and I wouldn't be able to handle it seeing as my mental health declined when at mum was diagnosed and I was so close to her.

she waited till I left the hospice when she passed too- apparently it's very common it's like our loved ones know we've gone and don't want to traumatise us more .

it is entirely up to you but if you think it will be too much then it probably isn't a good idea x

sorry about your loss 

I think I will see how I feel on Wednesday. I'm going to drop off some bits for his coffin so I think I'll see how I feel. 
 

How are you doing now? Xx

Hi

my advice to you would be to go it's so peaceful their and that's your last time with your dad lm from lreland so we always have a wake as such were we celebrate them my husband was so loved and as l said went in 24days he looked just like himself but then he did right up till his last breath l was with him and so was my four sons.It's your Dad he be minding you and looking after you all the way.xx