I lost.my beloved MUM 2 years ago she didn't die a peaceful death and I went to the chapel of rest to see her unfortunately she didnt look like her but I was glad I went because to me it was like I was show I g her respect none of my brother's would go and although it was very distressing for me I am glad I went 

On saying that you don't have to go I didn't think any less of my brother's for not going 

Thank you.

i think I will go and see how I feel when I arrive. I would lik to write her a letter and put a teddy I brought her with her.  It's such a hard decision and not something I have ever thought about before. 

I am worried if I don't go I will regret it. But worried if I do ho she won't look like my mum and will make everything worse x

Hello. Let me say that I am very sorry that you find yourself having to face making a decision. I do feel that it is a very personal thing you have to decide and rest assured nobody will have the right to say that not going to see your late Mother one last time is wrong. There is no right or wrong thing to do. All I would say to you is go with what your heart tells you. Yes, you might find it upsetting seeing her one last time, but if your last memory is uncomfortable and upsetting to you, you might find that seeing her one last time at peace is somehow comforting. I recently lost my Partner to this awful disease. His passing was a gentle one but my dominant memory was of his last moments. After a great deal of thought, I did decide to visit him in the Chapel of Rest at the Funeral Director's premises and though it was a very unhappy occasion, I felt having the opportunity to see him at peace and rest and importantly to be able to say things to him was something I wouold have bitterly regretted not taking. It was then that I asked the Funeral Director if it would be possible to have a lock of his hair, and that was arranged for me. I now have that one little part of him which I treasure and will keep with me for the rest of my life.

Hi Chrissie. It sounds so nice to take a teddy bear and letter and give to your mother. I'm confident the undertaker will have done excellent work. Your mum will I'm sure look completely at peace. It's your choice of course but I was so pleased that I visited my lovely partner Joan in the Chapel of Rest. She was Joan and looked like Joan without pain or a line on her face.

Mark

Thank you, I think I will regret it if I don't. 

I just really hope she looks like my mum and doesn't make things worse by seeing her. 

My head is all over the place and finding it so hard to make a decision. Even stupid things like if I want a cup of tea are impossible! 

Thanks for your support x

Thank you Mark, I think I will go. 

Even if it's just for a couple of minutes. I don't want to regret it in a few months time. 

Its such a hard decision and one I have never thought about before. 

I am glad your visit to Joan was positive. 

Thsnks agaian x

Hello Chrissie

I am so sorry to hear about your mum... My husband Andy passed away on 17th July - I was with him when he died at home, in his own bed, after his brave fight with that awful thing :( I did go and visit him 3 times in the chapel or rest before the funeral, each time on my own. It didn't feel weird, or wrong. But I have to say that he didn't look like Andy either. He looked very peaceful and his face was pain free, but still, he just didn't look like him. In a way, this made me feel a lot better, just because if it didn't look like him, well that's because it wasn't really him was it? It was just his body, a shell... Andy was not in the chapel of rest you see, I believe he is with me at all time now. 

I had the exact same feeling when I went to see my dad when he passed away 4 years ago - it just didn't look like him at all. Same thing - that's because it just wasn't him, if you see what I mean.

I hope you get some positive from visiting your mum (or not, whatever you decide to do). Just take your time - only you know how you feel about it. 

Sending you lots of courage xx

Hello Chrissie

I am so sorry to hear about your mum... My husband Andy passed away on 17th July - I was with him when he died at home, in his own bed, after his brave fight with that awful thing :( I did go and visit him 3 times in the chapel or rest before the funeral, each time on my own. It didn't feel weird, or wrong. But I have to say that he didn't look like Andy either. He looked very peaceful and his face was pain free, but still, he just didn't look like him. In a way, this made me feel a lot better, just because if it didn't look like him, well that's because it wasn't really him was it? It was just his body, a shell... Andy was not in the chapel of rest you see, I believe he is with me at all time now. 

I had the exact same feeling when I went to see my dad when he passed away 4 years ago - it just didn't look like him at all. Same thing - that's because it just wasn't him, if you see what I mean.

I hope you get some positive from visiting your mum (or not, whatever you decide to do). Just take your time - only you know how you feel about it. 

Sending you lots of courage xx