Hi 

last Saturday my mum lost her battle after having metastatic breast cancer diagnosed 20 months before. In June 2016 it went into her liver and treatment failed to work following this. Mum went into a hospice last Thursday and we were told weeks to live. Mum fought on for two days after and after around 10 hours of being in pain last Friday the pain relief was finally managed and able to keep her comfortable. She passed away in her sleep five hours later i

My heart is broken and I wish I could turn back time. I keep picturing her in pain that day and it scares me that she knew it was almost her time to go. My mum is an amazing person so selfless and kind and it angers me that evil people live until they're very old, mum was 49 anger 50th is next week. 

Im struggling to accept she has gone, I keep thinking she's on holiday. I don't know how to cope and have a mixed bag of emotions I'm dealing with. I'm Angry because she went so soon, I'm sad because she knew she was dieing, I'm scared because I don't know how to move forward, I feel guilty for trying to think about enjoying myself, I feel hurt she had to be in pain. 

I really do do hate this disease and I intend to give something back one day to support those suffering. 

Xx