So sorry to here of your loss I have just lost my husband also he was 51 he died in 4 weeks of being diagnosed.I'm the same as you wake up and just want him back.all I can advise at the moment is you can only take it one day at a time it is small steps from now on and take care of yourself your grandchildren will be such a comfort to you and it sounds like they live near by.

                                   Best wishes Debbie

Thank you Debbie, this is so hard going alone in the world we did everything together, my husband always put his family first we turned to him when we all needed advise,I look at his empty chair and it breaks my heart all the time , you must be feeling the same at 51 that was no age to go I thought my Alan was young at 67 years, I hope we can both get thru this Xmas at this moment don't feel like doing anything not even putting up a tree, but have my two little ones to think of and its there time in life now have to be strong for them, yes one of my grandsons love really near me see him everyday he used to sit on my husbands knee and be so content , now he will never know him. Thank you for writing wanted someone to talk to xx

Timmymol,

I am so very sorry for your loss.  I too lost my husband 29th October 2015 to Prostate Cancer he was also 67 (I am 53), it is so very hard, I don't remember much about last christmas, I think I was in shock, so this year feels like it is my first without him.  We just have to get through an hour at a time, don't look to far ahead.  I still feel incredibly sad and lost but it is not as all consuming now.  I found this forum a great help and still do.  As Debbie said your Grandchildren will be a great help and distraction for you, my great neice who is 4 has kept me sane (i have no children of my own but have great family and friends).  Take care Debbie xxxxxxx      

Thank you Debbie for taking time to talk to me, really sorry to hear your husband had prostate cancer at same age as my hubby was, isn't life cruel my Alan had so many plans he loved d I y and was so wanting to get well enough to do what he could to improve our home and garden , 39 years we have lived in our home and no matter how cold it was there he would be tools in hand....HAPPY TIMES x

Nice to talk to people on here for once I don't feel alone, I have a close family and a few good friends , but every day I feel so alone without my dear hubby who hated to argue such a kind soul, so now this journey begins life as we don't know it, I try each day to carry on as he would have wanted trouble is he was the strong one not me, I always wanted to go first now I am left with this sadness and emptyness inside, ..they say in time life gets a little easier I just hope that will also be for me. Your Xmas will be so nice for you to have a little one around , this year he or she will be looking at the lights on the tree hope the twinkle of the tree lights will be your husband in his , her eyes, bless you x

Hello, you sound so much like myself , how hard it is to do this journey without the one you love beside you. I have two grown daughters and two grandsons and I know how much my hubby would have wanted me to see them grow up, but it's hard we go Xmas shopping together and I buy them treats just like he would have done trying to carry on the way he would have wanted. This awful cancer takes so much away from us , and we try to keep going for our family but I think we both know deep down inside its not really what we want there is only one thing and that's him our beloved hubby, my husband was such a kind person hated arguments a real peace keeper, I am trying my best to go on but sometimes wish I would not wake up, hope you get thru this Xmas with your family, thinking of you know it will be your first Xmas also take care S