Dear Lucy,

I was so very sorry to read your post. I lost my Mum in September (tumour on her brainstem) so I can fully understand how you are feeling. I agree with the other replies you've received; your feelings are still going to be so raw and new. I still feeling I'm living day by day. The best bit of advice people have given me is to be kind to myself. Don't be too hard on yourself. Your pain and upset is a reflection on how much you love your mum (which is clearly very very much) Do you have family and close friends you can lean on? Please feel free to message me on here. 

I've recently contacted Cruse Bereavement, they're nationwide so perhaps look into what they can offer you. I've also phoned the Samaritans a couple of times, speaking to a stranger about your feelings can help. 

Sending you love xx

Hi Dawn, I'm so sorry to hear about your poor Mum, and thank you for your kind words. 

Chrisrmas used to be my favourite time of year, and my Mum loved it too, so it just doesn't feel right not having her around. Everything seems so bleak and sad without her.

i hope you are managing through the Christmas period having just lost your Mum. It just doesn't feel like Christmas and I find myself so jealous of all of my friends who still have their Mums.

Thanks for your advise regarding bereavement services, I think it would really help me out. 

Xx

Hi Helen, it made me so sad reading your above post, but I feel exactly the same. There have been so many things that I blame the doctors and hospital for not noticing and also so many signs that I didn't notice, or didn't do enough about, but blaming is a normal part of grieving. Nothing will bring our Mums back, as much as I wish there was a way. That's what I'm struggling to deal with - the fact that there's literally nothing I can do to get her back. Cancer is such an awful disease. 

Thinking you and your family at this time xx

Hi Dawn, yes it's definitely going to be a year of the firsts. I too am dreading Mothers Day and don't think I will be able to cope with seeing the adverts for it and hear everyone talking about what they will be doing with their Mum. 

I also get very upset seeing Mums and daughters our together. It's so upsetting and really makes the pain of loosing Mum come back and hit me like a tonne of bricks!

I've looked out for signs of my Mum, but I've received nothing, which upsets me so much as we were exceptionally close. I just want to feel like she's around somewhere, but I don't think she is and it breaks my heart! 

I'm sure there'll be a sign from your Mum when you least expect it. Remember she made you the lovely, strong person you are today. You've been brave in opening up on this forum and I'm sure she's proud of you for seeking help. She is guiding you xx Was there anything in particular your Mum enjoyed doing, or visiting? Perhaps doing something she enjoyed will help a sign come xx 

I really hope she is around somewhere snd I'm just not sensing it. I miss her so much and I feel angry that this has happened to my poor Mum and me. My Mum loved shopping and I think of her every time I go shopping, but it also makes me so sad as it was something we enjoyed doing together. I find that almost anything and everything reminds me of my Mum, which makes the grieving process even more difficult. 

I picked up her ashes this week and I was hoping that by having them she might send me a sign that she's with me. Xx

Hi Dawn and Lucy, thank you for your kind words, yes I gave a close family albeit small but I often feel I have to be the brave one so will always try and put them first . My Dad is devastated as are we all and I have a 20 year old daughter who was incredibly close to my Mum so I try to be brave which is why I hate bedtime as i only remember my mums face when she died or I go over the funeral again and again lying in bed. My husband has told me to go to councelling but I keep thinking I will be okay. I have seen my doctor who suggested Cruise  so I might give it ago . Just put my Christmas tree up today and took my mum a miniture one at the cemetery so trying you get in the festive spirit because I know she would be shouting at me otherwise Lol!,  It's a bit of a comfort to know I am not abnormal and it will take time....thank you both....Helen xx  

Hi Lucy i have just read this post..... trust me she will be around i too thought she was not around as my brother ,  husband and daughter had recieved a few signs and it was only when I spoke out loud to my dad saying that I think my mum had fallen out with me did I get another sign that very night. You will notice little things like when you have thought about her a song may come on the radio or with my mum she liked butterflies,  a week after  mum died i went to see a singer at a small concert , wasn't going to go but my husband thought it might help as the venue was a church would you believe anyway there was an interval and obviously I was thinking about mum all night and when the singer came back she had a very sparkly top on and the whole of the front and back was a beautiful butterfly.  Sign or coincidence..? It made me smile and was a comfort.  I am a strong believer that there is something after we die and I will see my mum again. Talk to your mum i do all the time , not in public though may get some strange looks!  Take care Helen x 

Hi  you sound as though you're being so brave for your family's sake, but make sure you allow yourself to grieve. I too suffer the most at night once the madness of the day is over. Try and remember some lovely memories that you shared instead of the funeral, which is quite a traumatic memory. I like to think of my Mum dancing around the house and being silly as that makes me happy, although it makes me miss her so much!

Counselling sounds like it may be beneficial, as it's nice to vent and have some professional advice on how to get through this hard time!

That's lovely that you got your Mum a little tree :). Xx

Hi Helen, that's a lovely story, I hope something similar happens to me. I believe that there's something after we die, and so did my Mum but she promised she would come and visit me and so far she hasn't. I picked up her ashes this week and I hoped that she might come to me in spirit. I'll keep looking out for signs! I even talk to her at home (which may seem mad!!) but still nothing. We were so close all of my 22 years of life and I'm baffled that she hasn't come to comfort me while I'm grieving her. :( xx

Hi Lucy I have read a few books by mediums give your mum time to settle in her new life she's probably catching up with everyone , she will be about though and you will see a sign when you least expect it. Every thought you have means she is there sometimes we look too hard for the signs I did then out the blue they come. Remember  also her blood runs through you , you have her genes and I suspect her values  so she is here, in you...... hugs xx

Hi Helen. I think I'll get some books like you've mentioned above, that's a nice comforting thought that she is still around somewhere. Hopefully she'll leave me some little signs soon to let me know that she's with me!

thanks for making me a bit feel better about it xx

Hi Helen. I think I'll get some books like you've mentioned above, that's a nice comforting thought that she is still around somewhere. Hopefully she'll leave me some little signs soon to let me know that she's with me!

thanks for making me a bit feel better about it xx

Hi Helen, I'm doing ok thank you, I hope doing you're well!! Your Christmas sounds like it was lovely and you managed to enjoy it as much as you possibly could! :) That made me smile to hear that your Mum played a trick with the TV, it sounds like she was letting you know she was there with you at Christmas! 

My Christmas didn't really feel like Christmas without my Mum, as it was her favourite time of year, but I tried to be as happy as I could for her and just remember happier Christmas's :( Xx