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Hurt over mums death

MrsL83
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We lost mum to cancer 3 weeks ago now. It was awful to watch her the last couple of days breathing horribly, looking awful and speaking to spirits of passed family members. But what I can't get out of my head is her actual last breaths and dying. She took this almighty gasp and looked as though she was in pain on her face and it's eating me up thinking she was almost scared or in pain to be going. Is thus normal for dying cancer patients to do this?? 

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    Hi, 

    I'm very sorry to hear of your Mum's passing. It's an awful experience xx We lost our Mum in September this year, she had Primary Central Nervous System Lymphoma. We had a similar experience from what I can see. Mum was in hospital and it was just awful watching her breathe, thinking every time is this the last. My mum also did the long gasping breath, and I was told by the nurse that it is normal. It's not like how they depict it on TV or in films at all is it? 

    What I found great comfort in is being there when she passed, I believe she knew you we were there. I also admire her strength and love for her family even more now than ever. 

     

    Do do you have a support network to lean on? Feel free to message me here xxxx 

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    Hello there.. i'm very sorry about your loss.. My mom passed away 4 months ago because of pancreatic cancer. and it was very very hurtful.. I just can't get through this.. When she was taking her last breaths I could see her face as you did.. it was very painful to see her like that she was looking at me and I just didn't know if she's in pain or scared or don't want to leave me.. I think that all people with cancer are like that.. It's just like that they're not ready to go.. feel free to text me take care ..

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    Hi MrsL83

    I lost my sister who was 35 6 weeks ago and i too can understand what you mean the images of my sisters last breathe and her face are stuck in my mind .. its too painful to think about it so i try to block it out. I wonder did she know she was dying? was it painful .. it truly is heart breaking worst experience of my life. My sister tried to speak that cuts me up too because we cudnt understand what she was saying x 

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    How wanderful you where with her, start thinking of the good memories she would want that i'm sure.

    My mum died about the same way, Doctor said she had no pain.

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    Hi, I don't think there is any one particular way for anyone to die never mind cancer sufferers. I think it's just so awful to watch and we wonder if they are in pain. Try not to focus on the final moments of your loved one. Reflect on all of your happy memories as you go through the bereavement process. Take care. A
  • Offline in reply to wilan

    It's an awful experience but I agree with wilan, try to remember the happier times. I know this is easier said than done. I too can't shift the final few days / hours from my mind. When I close my eyes I either see Mum dead in the hospital or in the Funeral home. I'm sure these feelings will pass but grief is individual and unique. 

     

    God bless x

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