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My mum died and I can't cope with the loss

Snowflake72555
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My mum died of liver cancer 9 months ago. I find each day unbearable and find it harder and harder. I can't sleep at night and break down all the time. I miss her so much and my life feels so empty without her. I have two children and I continue for their sake otherwise I wouldn't have the will to get out of bed each day as I feel so down. 

Does it get easier? because right now, it feels awful.

I keep thinking I need to tell mum this and remember she's gone and breakdown. I see people with their mothers and I envy them.

I feel so alone and helpless. Feel like part of me has died too and I struggle to get back up again.

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    hey Snowflake72555

    I lost my mum exactly 2 months ago, so I know how you feel. My mum and I were very close. And I wish she could call me again. My mum was only 47. I know that age doesn't matter because we will miss our loved ones no matter if they are 47 or 97 ... 
    I was told that it does get easier. I don't know when or how it will happen. But most probably it is different for everyone. 
    I keep saying that I have my good days and my bad days. There are days when I smile, but then there are days when I cry myself to sleep. 

    If you ever feel like you want to talk to someone, you can message me. I am not the best advice giver.. but I can try. 
    For now, please, stay strong and take care of yourself! x

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    I've lost my mother to liver cancer too June 2017 it helps to know I'm not the only person in the world (that is how Ive been feeling) to have these unbearable feelings.

     

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    Hi everyone, I know exactly how ye all feel. I lost my mother a month ago to ovarian cancer at the age of 55, I myself am only 28, I am devastated beyond words. I myself have two kids and I have to be strong for them, other than that I wouldn't know how to go on. Everyday I pick up my phone to ring her and tell her something and then reality hits like a tonne of bricks, yesterday my eldest boy started play school. It was a happy but very emotional day as my mam was so looking forward to seeing him. She cherished my kids. They were her world. We used to talk everyday atleast five times and now its gone to zero. I feel as though my heart is broke in two. I miss her so much. I miss seeing her everyday. I miss every little small thing she did. She was diagnosed in march and passed away in august. She was bed bound. Her life turned upside down in the blink of an eye. It killed me to see her so sick. No one should have to bury their mam in their twenties

  • Offline in reply to Tarad
    I know how you feel it's been a year since my mum passed we also talked multiple times a day on the phone and from going to that to not even being able to say hello kills me I've had to remove her name from my favourites because I still go to call her she was diagnosed with can on the 22nd of June 2016 so I stopped work and started caring for her I'm the youngest of 6 and I knew this is what I had to do she came home so I started to care for her remembering all the times I had been sick as a child I wanted to return the favour not just because she was my mum but because she was struggling to do the simplest things for her self I could see how scared she was because this wasn't her first fight against cancer it was her 3rd I remember her crying in my arms sayings I don't know how everyone will cope if I die that was hard having to hold my tears back and just being there to support her but I did and reassuring her she would be ok but that wasn't the case she celebrated her 63rd birthday in hospital putting on a brave face then everything changed I took her to have a shower and the cancerous mass on her brain burst she could no longer talk she just looked at me mumbling touching her mouth so scared as she could no longer talk or move to see such a proud women brought to this broke my heart I continued to cared for her in the hospital washing her so she still had her dignity my brave mum held on for 12 days before finally giving up I'm still finding it hard when will I stop going to phone her
  • Offline in reply to shepwaysaint

    My mum died 18 days ago,age 64, and things are very raw. She was fit and well until last month and was diagnosed with cancer on the 1st September 2017 and died 9 days later on the day she was due to go on holiday. I'm not sure how I'm going to cope. Unfortunately we lost our dad eleven years ago when he was 55. I haven't got my head around the diagnosis nevermind the fact she has gone. There's so many times over the last few weeks where I have gone to call her, the latest being this morning. Life is just so unfair at times.

  • Offline in reply to Ninar76

    Mum was diagnosed in May died 15th September, stage 4 breast cancer,

    life was all so good for our family, mum was 11 years in remission, we were naive to think cancer has gone forever, I feel we neglected our mum, surely we could have got her checked out in Jan, maybe whilst it was a small mass, I will forever blame myself.

    one minute mum was at home, all her kids sitting on the couch with tea and biscuits surrounding our rock, laughing and joking about anything, just being normal enjoy life, she was the light of our family and now the house is like a deserted building!! We have lost our precious mum and I dont know how I will go on with life without my beautiful, loving, caring , soft mum who only ever lived for her family, she battled it for 5 months in so much pain for her kids but in the end she was taken.

    How I am going to cope growing old without my rock I will never know. My kids yet to go big school, college, uni and then work, all this i wanted mum to see, I wanted to see mums face when her grandsons have taken those next steps in life! Now I can only imagine what mum would have said, yes I know she would be proud but I wanted her to physically see it all.

    life will never be the same! Xmas coming soon, was the best time of the year for our family, that fun has now been snatched away.

     

     

  • Offline in reply to kel19
    Hello. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I don’t have the word to make you feel better. I lost my mum very quickly to secondary liver cancer. She got told she would have a few weeks to a few months to live no treatment could be given too far gone. Two weeks later....She passed away & two weeks later was the funeral. It was a total shock ! How are you coping ? Do you have people to support you ?
  • Offline in reply to benmarg
    Hello, only just seen thise site. I also lost my mum to liver cancer in Feb 17 and I understand how you feel, it's do heart breaking isn't it I cry so much. My mum had been ill after Xmas doctor said was a virus but she got worse only when her ckkng turned yellow doctor called ambulance and scan was done snd on the Tuesday found out she liver cancer and she died on the Thursday it was spread too far, I live in different country so by the time I got over there it was too late never got to say goodbye, also I felt pushed out family at funeral wasn't at front row st church, wanted to see my chapel if rest made appointment ghen hold coffin lid put on do another chance to say goodbye taken away then wanted to put card in coffin my sister told me couldn't do that wasn't allowed then week later heard my neice asking my sister if she put their cards in coffin and dhe ssid yes, apart from greiving I feel so lonely as well and pushed out.
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    I lost my mom at 14 and its been three years. It gets a little easier but recently for me it feels like i lost her again. I've never had a grown up one to one conversation with her. She never saw me grow up and when i make accomplishments, i miss her even more. I can't bare to grow up anymore without her, leaving the world tonight. Glad to see others with similar pain

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