Hi sorry for your loss. I lost my mum 11 months ago. I miss her so much. It does get easier eventually. Yes I still have wobbles more so when the kids r all in bed as it gives me time to think but I keep my memories alive. She wouldnt want me to be sad and I believe she is watching over me. Things i find hard is when my baby did new things like crawl etc I just wanted to go tell her.

Hi sorry for your loss. I lost my mum 11 months ago. I miss her so much. It does get easier eventually. Yes I still have wobbles more so when the kids r all in bed as it gives me time to think but I keep my memories alive. She wouldnt want me to be sad and I believe she is watching over me. Things i find hard is when my baby did new things like crawl etc I just wanted to go tell her.

It has been 3 years since I lost my mother and I am still as shocked as the day she left it hasn't got easier at all my mother died in the most horrible way and it took 6 weeks of her null by mouth before she died my heart is just broken and will never be the same 

Hello XprincessX.  Very sorry to hear you lost your Mother and that you are still as shocked now three years later. I have lost my Mum just over seven weeks ago and the pain is absolutely awful.  I have some friends who have been supportive and this does help but as soon as I am on my own it hits me like a sledgehammer again. I am waiting to  get some counselling which I am putting a lot of hope in. Is this something you have tried or thought about?

Your post rings true with me. I lost my mum 5 weeks ago and I really can't get myself together. I too have lots of support but when on my own I'm a mess. I also am waiting for counselling.  My mum was my rock and support through my life and I now don't know what to do. I'm lost

hi

I lost my mum 5 months ago I can totally relate, my heart literally hurts, nothing fills the gap I just misd my mum so very much, I am waiting for bereavement councelling, I am not coping I to have a supportive family, I just feel so alone my mum was my world 

Hi Janey3,

I am sorry you lost your mum, you're on the same journey as me, my mum passed away on the 26th September 2018. I wanted to reply to your post as it resonated with me when you said your heart literally hurts, it's horrible isn't it, just trying to accept that mum is gone is so very hard. 

Sometimes even when you have a supportive family, the grief you feel is just so personal.

I am in the middle of counselling, not really sure the effect it's having, i just talk and the counsellor listens.

I have haven't got any wise words except to say, just a day at a time we'll get there, we will get to a stage where the sadness won't be so overwhelming.

Our grief is testament to how much we loved and still love our mum's.

Hope it gets easier, don't feel alone, post on here and 'the family' here will respond.....I say 'family' as people are so kind and supportive on this forum and absolutely understand.

Take care

x

Hello mollyme1

It sounds as though we are both in a very similar place.  It is all extremely difficult to take; the time alone especially so.  I am into about 5 weeks of a 12 week waiting list for counselling.  I just hope it can help me and you too.  I am having to deal with My Mum's affairs and it is taking me ages to do each thing. Some say it is good to keep yourself occupied. I think it can be but dealing with Mum's personal affairs is so upsetting.  Maybe, if I, and yourself, can start to slowly establish some 'normality' in our own lives then that would help. Easily said but much harder to  do  of course.  All we can do for now, is try.

Be good to keep in touch to see how we are both getting on.

Best Wishes

Hi brewis1guard. I’m so sorry for your loss. My mum died just 20 days ago. She had a tumor on her spine and she went through a radiation therapy (10 years ago she had breast cancer which was treated and she was ok for 8 years, then it came back [liver], she had chemo and was ok for about 18 months). After the radiation she did not improve, the tumor was putting pressure on her spine which had an affect on her ability to walk. She was told it needs to be removed. She had a 6 hours long surgery and after the operation was over we were told that all went well and she will be back to her room in 30 mins. After an hour she was not brought back and that’s when we were told that when they closed the area something happened and she did not make it. They were trying to bring her back for 45 minutes. After the autopsy we found out that cancer was actually eating her alive, it was everywhere...

My mum was also a doctor and now we do not know if she was aware of everything and just wanted us to believe that this was not a big deal and she would be fine. She always told us she was a survivor... It just breaks my heart thinking she was dealing with this all alone, not telling us how serious it was so we did not worry...

I’ve spent the last 2 weeks with my family but I am back to London now. Although I felt like it was a bit easier after her funeral, now I’m alone and just can’t stop crying. I still cannot believe that she’s gone. I still have problem falling asleep and I feel exhausted. Should I talk to my GP about these things?

Hello Kataczky

So sorry for your loss. Such a horrible sedries of events.  I can relate all too well on the being alone and profoundly upset.

I have seen my G.P. and she did offer words but they  are not enough. I did, also, get some medication  (they  slow everything down) which is helping at the moment. My doctor adviced against anitdepressants as she said they are addictive and don't solve anything .  I have also started attending counselling. Had my second session yesterday. They seem to  help - at the time! The problem is when on my own whihc is a lot. I do see some friendfs who help aagain at the time.

I don't think there is any easy answer. Plenty of people talk about giving it time and I feel that is one thing we need to do.

Maybe it's a case of trying evrything and anything and hopefully we will start to deal with it a little better.

Best wishes and let me know how you get on

Dear Kataczky,

   I am grieving the loss of my mum. I felt the need to see how other people are dealing with the same situation. I read your post and can relate. I wondered how are you doing further down the line now? My mum was also a Doctor so a part of me thinks maybe she did know but another says no. My mum was ill quite a lot and survived breast cancer. A few years ago she nearly died twice and I was so upset. I went to the different hospitals to see and help her. We used to text a lot, one message she wrote to me was that she had to accept dying because she was so ill. That she was not worried just glad of the happy release I still have that in my phone now. Over the past several months she was struggling to do normal things, i didn't think she was going to go. I guess i was over confident and in denial as she had bounced back before. Also because when I called the hospital I always got positive information. Due to Covid I couldn't visit her when she was in from late March. I was so shocked when I found out there was nothing more they could do. The pain and loss is immense since she left last month. I hope everyone who has lost their mum can heal as much as possible. 

Hi kat bless you im so so sorry for your loss i cant say it gets easier for me as i still feel so empty and have never been myself since i lost my amazing mother to cancer 4 years ago. I think what does help is speaking to people that feel the same pain because when i speak to people who still have there mum its like everything they say goes in one ear and out my other because they are just thinking what it would be like and thinking and feeling are totally different. I have found it extremly hard and had 2 spine ops after loosing my mother and i out it all down to stress as crazy as that sounds. I have an amazing family but i just cant get over the gut wrenching feeling and the shock of my mum no longer hear. I sit and stare at her picture and the pain of not seeing her again kills me so i no how you feel and its tough but for me no im so sorry hun it hasnt got easier and i still dont no how to cope with it i just try and block it out because i am still not ready to deal with it which i also no is not going to help me but i jist cant talk to anyone face to face about it so i find writing online helps a little. I hope your ok bless you xx