I miss my dad so much.

Hi everyone,

I don't really know where to start.. I'm 26 and my dad was 65 so no age and . I lost my best friend, my hero, my rock at the beginning of September the week my son started primary school.. we had the toughest summer.. dad was initially diagnosed in 2012 with advanced prostate cancer with it spread to the  bones and lymph nodes.. but was hormone receptive until beginning of last year so we did have a good run up until that point.. last year he came to live with me , my husband and our 2 kids as he stared chemo as things weren't working out with my mother.. anyway the chemo in itself was an emotional rollercoaster which we didn't really anticipate as we were thrown into the deep end so to speak. It was  heartbreaking to watch him struggle to then get through 10 cycles for it To not have done anything.. end of July  this year it had gone  to the liver, behind the abdomen wall, urea that and growing in the lymph nodes.  it was everywhere and we was told a few short months in August if he didn't start chemo.. well he went in for a routine op 4th August for kidney stents and he never came out of hospital. Meaning he never had the chemo.. . he developed pneumonia and again which he fought with incredible strength, had a stroke and has full left side paralysis.. and day by day travelling to the Royal Marsden in Chelsea watching him slowly waste away and deteriorate is something that has massively effected me especially as the stroke had effected him mentally so he wasn't always my usual dad :-( ... then he was transferred to his local hospital which is when he really took a turn for the worst and the palliative team got him into a hospice on the weds as we was unresponsive and he passed on the Friday.. my world fell apart.. I've dealt with it all majority on my own with my brother and I just am not coping with him not being here, not talking to him, my kids not seeing him or making anymore memories... it's obviously still so raw but it's just genuinely breaking my heart... the emotional waves I get are so overwhelming where I physically cannot stop the tears.. the hospice has been great and are putting us in touch with grief councillors but I guess I was just after some advice or experiences of anyone unfortunately having to go through this utter rubbish time.  

Sorry for the long post but I guess that's the first time I've really reflected on the last 8 or so weeks.

 

xx

Parents
  • Hi everyone, 

    I'm really struggling to get over the loss of my Dad; he was my whole world and i loved him more than anyone and anything in this world. He got diagnosed with kindey cancer over 5 years ago but as the cancer could be managed it was all relatively positive for a while with the hope of other treatments that may one day get rid of it for good however as he had one of his kindeys removed he only had one that was working at a low percentage and went into renal failure this November due to something called Amyloid. He came to live with me for a month but got worse over that duration and ended up getting sepsis too which meant it was all too much in the end. I feel completely numb and miss him so so much, he was only 59 and i feel like my right arm has been ripped off as i spoke to him every single day and saw him almost every other day. I am on antidepressants and currently having counselling but i feel so lost and numb, i would give anything in this world to have him back again. 

Reply
  • Hi everyone, 

    I'm really struggling to get over the loss of my Dad; he was my whole world and i loved him more than anyone and anything in this world. He got diagnosed with kindey cancer over 5 years ago but as the cancer could be managed it was all relatively positive for a while with the hope of other treatments that may one day get rid of it for good however as he had one of his kindeys removed he only had one that was working at a low percentage and went into renal failure this November due to something called Amyloid. He came to live with me for a month but got worse over that duration and ended up getting sepsis too which meant it was all too much in the end. I feel completely numb and miss him so so much, he was only 59 and i feel like my right arm has been ripped off as i spoke to him every single day and saw him almost every other day. I am on antidepressants and currently having counselling but i feel so lost and numb, i would give anything in this world to have him back again. 

Children
No Data