I lost my daughter 3 weeks ago.She was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukaemia. She went for a routine blood test due to joint pain.We live away from the UK mainland and by the next night she was in hospital away from home.3 weeks of chemo and tests followed andcshecwas so brave.She was told she could soon go home for a few days before more treatment.She suddenly contracted an infection and within 2cdays was in critical care on a ventilator.She died on November 26th 2017 leaving a 13 year old boy,She was divorced and had brought him up alone .I can't accept she is gone,I feel so much guilt that I couldn't protect her and that I could have given her the infection.i was a huge part of their life.My grandson is now with his father who treated my daughter very badly,I'm so frightened I will not be able to see him when I want to,his heart is broken and I'm not there.i don't think I will ever smile or laugh again.im struggling to keep going,her funeral is 2 days away .I feel my life is over

Hi i read all the posts from everyone and was so touched i lost a grandchild and my parner liz she was misdiagnosed finaly when she had her first chemo monday on friday morning had a major stroke leaving her parilized and barely able to talk she contracted sepsis and died 4 am sunday morning what made me reply to your post you mentioned you causing infection trust me you didnt i checked lizs temp twice a day no warning at all the specialist said he had seen people go in 8 hours cancer and chemo etc it flattens your immunity so infections run riot and you know we have bugs up aur noses on our skin in our mouths that normaly dont bother us but when we get weak they all of a sudden get in our blood streams and round they go damaging our organs allso just regurgitating a bit of food a cough and it goes into your lungs so take heart in the fact that theres no blame on you as i said i felt that guilt till i studied it and realised it was nothing i did or in your case you did. i felt that pain to did i do enough i should have done that guilt seems to go with grief and it realy hurts i blamed myself two that i couldnt save liz because she trusted me but if drs cant how can we .so best wishs to you .paul

Hi Paul.i have only just seen this sfter all this time, only today I have been worrying about the guilt .I've made myself I'll with the worry, signed off work, just cant cope with life.If you should see this post please know how grateful I have been today for your kind words.Thank you x

Thats ok i i ho its getting a bit easier you know sometime people just need to get it out and reply bit like a diary realy . Yes its that guilt that comes with the trouble is we need someone to blame or be angry at but in this case theres th one to blame so we blame ourselve seems to be part of the haealing process but dosnt it hurt and when you think back we knock ourselves out for no reason no matter how much we cared or looked after we will find some silly thing to blame ourselve for but its not real the shrinks call it false guilt thanks for teplying dont worry how long it took its a long lonely road but the pain does dwindle revards paul

Thats ok i i ho its getting a bit easier you know sometime people just need to get it out and reply bit like a diary realy . Yes its that guilt that comes with the trouble is we need someone to blame or be angry at but in this case theres th one to blame so we blame ourselve seems to be part of the haealing process but dosnt it hurt and when you think back we knock ourselves out for no reason no matter how much we cared or looked after we will find some silly thing to blame ourselve for but its not real the shrinks call it false guilt thanks for teplying dont worry how long it took its a long lonely road but the pain does dwindle revards paul