I am also Sussex...Quite upsetting not being able to do anything! :/ Do you think the moderators would know what to do?...............Jes has been on daily and said she would keep in touch then nothing after that desperate post last night! :(

Sorry to have worried you all ... just in so much pain I really can't handle it 

I understand totally that you wanted to give Tony a good send off ... it's the last thing we do for them so in my mind it was money well spent.  Also it's a day that lives with you for the rest of your life, it sounds like you gave him the best and it's lovely to read that you added the personal touch.  

If they get shirty and I am seriously hoping that they don't perhaps offer them a small monthly repayment plan .. at least until you get to hear back from the CAB and social services.  

I don't know how people can live with themselves ...... his family may not like you but that's no excuse no to offer some ££s towards the cost ... my pride would kick in. 

Let us know how you get on. Take care 

That still seems mighty expensive...! My mum-in-laws funeral in December came in at £3,100 and we only did flowers for £150 and Willow Coffin for £450 ourselves....the rest was all in including two limos!!! I am glad you gave him the send off he deserved and hope you get the help you need to pay it. xx

Hi Jessxx

You and your Tony look a nice couple. Pleased you made him so loved.

About brother, there no patching up with him. Just sorting the will out. My Mum and Dad where the best. But me and my dad would get attacked by him. It not been good for my parents. Then dad gets cancer 9 years ago. Then mum had cancer too and died few months ago. So lonely times.

Some people have no feeling, your right. I wished my brother was a good bother. I can feel your pain and Tony was no age at all.

I know funeral cost are very high in some areas. Maybe these can help... www.turn2us.org.uk/.../What-is-a-Funeral-Payment

I think local hopice have groups to meet with people who have been bereaved.

Sorry to hear you can't sort things with your brother ... So many people out there family friends all so heartless .. I haven't and will never speak to my sister we fell out years and years ago ... Can't waste time on heartless people ... Just like my tonys family I've cut them completely but they already cut me out and I didn't even know it ... Feel like A fool to be honest  as done so much to please then for my Tony funeral they messed me about so much and I got threatened ...... Absolute waste of my air that I breathe ..

At least your mum and dad had your love xxx and you had them and always will in your Heart xx 

I applied for the funeral help costs they awarded me 1400 so I need another 3200 pounds .... I have written to two charities for help as I have nothing and I feel awful for that but I will do and try all I can to get it I will not let Tony down ..

I'm always here too talk ... Don't get too lonely xx

I found a really good bereavement group on line on Facebook or they have a chat room on web site so many lovely people on there and they are on all the time. So always got someone to talk to maybe you want to give it a try xx  

Hi Jess,

Some people are very heartless. There is no time for them, as they get their pleasure out of people's pain.

You're not a fool trying to please them, you are just trying to honour your Tony, by trying to keep the peace.

I had keep phoning my brother for the appointment to arrange the funeral. He still turned up late.

Sorry to hear about threats, not what you need when hearts on the floor and you're minds spinning.

I'm sorry your award was so low. My friend's dad was only award about this. But did get some help as dad had been in the navy. I hope you do hear off the charities.

Thanks for your kind words for my mum and dad, that helped. Tony always be in your heart and that will keep us all going.

Not really in the facebook thing, but good to talk to you and other folks on here. The one I go each week is to chat face to face. These help too. But didn't go there to after 2 months, as my mind was in such a daze.

Hi same boat yep these people out there are truly heartless no heart no soul no feeling for anyone ... 

I know the Facebook thing not many people like but to just go on there to the group I'm on ... See for yourself always someone there .. and support is nice just Like on here but more people to relate to same ages same times etc..... 

Sending love to you always xxx 

Hi Jess,

Could you paste the link to the Facebook page?  xx

Hi deben m.facebook.com/.../

Let me know if I done it right!

Thanks jess yes it was right see you there.   Debbie xxxx

It's a great place for all of us to be in with there's a chat room a forum and can post daily and the people on there are lovely ... all in the same boat lots of support and made loads of new friends .. people that understand  us and are going through the same .. see you on there debbie

It's a great place for all of us to be in with there's a chat room a forum and can post daily and the people on there are lovely ... all in the same boat lots of support and made loads of new friends .. people that understand  us and are going through the same .. see you on there debbie

Seem to be getting to a much better place in my head still hurting like crazy but no so suicidal  ..still having crappie days ... but what can we do ....  thank you to all on here ... hope your all well xx 

Hi Jes!

You have braved the first storm! Bl***y well done to you! You will always have bad days but the good days are so worth while and everywhere you go and everything you do you will dedicate to your lost loved one. Thank you for posting.

Wishing you peace.

C.xxx

Jess,

I am so glad your feeling much better, thinking of you take care.

Debbie xxxx

Spoke to soon back down again ..... hardly any sleep last two days ... sick feeling never goes .... ffs  .. so exhausted  of trying ....

Spoke to soon. ..so exhausted  ...

You got through the first storm and now hit with the second almost as quickly as the first one left.....Please re-read 'Response to a grieving stranger'.....if you can find it somewhere in the first posts here.....as it will remind you of the constant, but everso slowly decreasing, battles ahead through grief. Hope you manage to get some rest soon. C.xx

7th comment page 3 on this thread.xx

Thankyou so much.....l've just read it. Sending all my love to you all. X

In my case it's the lack of sleep that contributes to the "down" feelings .... last night I was awake from 1 - 4 and then have to be up for work at 6 .... I'm due to see the doctor on Saturday and this time I am going to beg for some sleeping pills - the last time she fobbed me off with a bottle of Calms .... 

Sleeping pills can be a quick fix but won't solve the problem long term....and you don't want to be stuck relying on them forever. Relaxation techniques, herbal preparations and teas and a plan for what to do with yourself if you do wake up (such as mental puzzles...reading......radio.....NOT anything with a screen!) can all be very helpful in a much healthier way! Hope you find something that helps.x