Hi Deggsy I can completely relate to this

My wife died of primary peritoneal cancer back in October. She was at high risk of ovarian cancer and had had a hysterectomy to prevent this so when she showed up with symptoms but no ovaries it was very confusing for all until PPC was diagnosed!

Amazingly she had few symptoms until the last week - never seemed to be an actual blockage but the best guess seems to be she had a bowel shutdown then an associated infection which she was unable to throw off with a compromised immune system. And yes her last 2 or 3 days were the hardest thing I've ever lived through.

All I can say is be there for her, make sure she's as comfortable as possible and gets the pain relief she needs - ask to talk to the palliative team at the hospital they can help you in this and can explain what it will probably be like to be there when it happens so you know what to expect - I found that took so much of the worry out of it for me.

Don't worry too much now about afterwards - you'll have a lot of grief as so many of us on here have but your friends and familly will help and so will people on here

spend these last days with her well, if you can, try to take her mind off it a bit and be strong for her so she's not worried about what will happen to you when she's gone.

And stay with us on line and we'll see if we can't help you pick up the pieces 

Thanks Graham,

My wife is recieving the very best care that anyone could wish for at our local hospice and the staff are there  for all of  us and as you have said have prepared us all for what is going to happen. What I didn't say was the prognosis of short  weeks was given when she went  into the hospice on christmas eve and here  we  are at the end of Jan. she's a  real fighter. Living with the fact that there is no long term future and trying to make every day  special has been hard and then coming home each night wondering if that will  be the last time I see her, over such a long time causes me to question so many things.

I will keep posting as it does help to keep my emotions in check

Thanks again.

Hi Deggsy

Just wanted to let  you know I am thinking of you, your wife and family. We also found the cummunity and palliative care nurses of enormous support and a wealth of knowledge during my hubby's last weeks.Jules x

Just to say Deggsy I am thinking of you all today, take care. G

Hi all,

Thanks for your kind thoughts, home again tonight, wife ( Gill ) is still with us and the nurses say she will do things in "Gill time".

I can come home knowing that the hospice is giving excellent care, a nurse will sit with Gill all night.

As all people who have gone through this will know, you want to be there but at the same time you don't and whatever you do you you will doubt if you made the right choice 

Thinking of you Deggsy

Not a great way to spend Valentine's day eh?

Thinking of you, Deggsy, this is such a very hard time for you.  I wish both you and Gill much peace. x

Gill made it through the night, a real survivor. 

Dear Deggsy

My thoughts are with you and Gill. The greatest comfort at such times is knowing that you were rested by the fact that your loved one was in understanding hands and there is no right or wrong way to be at times like this.  I hope Gill had a peaceful night and that you managed some sleep yourself.. Jules x

Thinking of you Deggsy you wife is some fighter. Hope you can find time to relax even though this is happening at the moment -Diane x 

Thinking of you and Gill Deggsy 

All the Cancer Chat team is thinking of you Deggsy. We are all here for you anytime you need to talk. You've got some great friends here I can see and I hope this brings you a little comfort during these difficult times.

Lucie
 

All the Cancer Chat team is thinking of you Deggsy. We are all here for you anytime you need to talk. You've got some great friends here I can see and I hope this brings you a little comfort during these difficult times.

Lucie