Wow - I guess you don't always realise how lucky you are.

I've been very fortunate to have had a huge amount of support from friends and familly since my wife died and I really don't know what sort of a state I'd be in now if I'd not had that.

I guess that some people are just kind of embarassed, not knowing whether they'll say the wrong thing maybe some of the familly are struggling with their own grief.

Whatever the reason, well I have a "lifeboat list" of friends in my head - those that if the worst came to the worst you'd want in the lifeboat with you and another set, lovely thought they may be, I'd prefer to swim in the other direction.

I guess you find out who your friends are.

Really tough when you have to go to work after that and before the funeral - I was very lucky that my company has been very understanding and encouraged me to take the time I needed, maybe it was because in my case it was a spouse and not a parent but I certainly wasn't ready to go back until after the funeral.

Maybe the answer to your question "How do you cope" is - we don't

Many (most maybe all)  of us on here found it just as hard in the first days - some of us are recovering quicker than others.

One tip perhaps - I do find that we can have an incredible ability to beat ourselves up - for some reason we dwell on the most painful parts of the experience, the last days, hours, moments. I know if I give in to it and let myself I can keep coming back to the last moments of my wife's life as she died as I held her hand. It's immensely painful and very unproductive - see I'm finding an excuse to relive it now in the guise of offering you advice!!  

Sounds as if you do to the way you talk about his wasting away - Don't give in to it - it hurts to much now to think about it - be disciplined, learn to think of something else when it comes to mind - your dad wouldn't want to see you in pain, he'd want you to think about the good times.

Block outthe painful memories, it's not hard or breaking faith with your father's memory its self preservation - you'll be able to remember the tough times in due course - just not now 

Nobody's sticking pins in us, twisting our arms. This pain comes from our memories, it comes from within - that's where the healing has to come from too.   

Wow - I guess you don't always realise how lucky you are.

I've been very fortunate to have had a huge amount of support from friends and familly since my wife died and I really don't know what sort of a state I'd be in now if I'd not had that.

I guess that some people are just kind of embarassed, not knowing whether they'll say the wrong thing maybe some of the familly are struggling with their own grief.

Whatever the reason, well I have a "lifeboat list" of friends in my head - those that if the worst came to the worst you'd want in the lifeboat with you and another set, lovely thought they may be, I'd prefer to swim in the other direction.

I guess you find out who your friends are.

Really tough when you have to go to work after that and before the funeral - I was very lucky that my company has been very understanding and encouraged me to take the time I needed, maybe it was because in my case it was a spouse and not a parent but I certainly wasn't ready to go back until after the funeral.

Maybe the answer to your question "How do you cope" is - we don't

Many (most maybe all)  of us on here found it just as hard in the first days - some of us are recovering quicker than others.

One tip perhaps - I do find that we can have an incredible ability to beat ourselves up - for some reason we dwell on the most painful parts of the experience, the last days, hours, moments. I know if I give in to it and let myself I can keep coming back to the last moments of my wife's life as she died as I held her hand. It's immensely painful and very unproductive - see I'm finding an excuse to relive it now in the guise of offering you advice!!  

Sounds as if you do to the way you talk about his wasting away - Don't give in to it - it hurts to much now to think about it - be disciplined, learn to think of something else when it comes to mind - your dad wouldn't want to see you in pain, he'd want you to think about the good times.

Block outthe painful memories, it's not hard or breaking faith with your father's memory its self preservation - you'll be able to remember the tough times in due course - just not now 

Nobody's sticking pins in us, twisting our arms. This pain comes from our memories, it comes from within - that's where the healing has to come from too.