Lost my mum today

Today my mum died. She battled breast cancer and won and a few months after she got the all clear we were told she had liver cancer. That was in December last year and in March this year we were told 2 months. I was in such denial she was ill I was just so angry at her. She had good days and bad and was in hospital for weeks then out for weeks. She got called into hospital 3 weeks ago after a blood test found she had kidney failure. She had a stent and was being kept in to monitor the progress and if went well she'd get a permanent one. Last week, second week of her being in, she seemed to get worse. She collapsed in the toilet and was struggling to breath. Yesterday she went down for her stent and they couldn't do it cause she couldn't breath and they found a infection all around her kidneys and her right lung collapsed as the cancer had spread.

We were all called in yesterday and it was heart breaking. She was on a oxygen mask and just didn't know what was going on. Eventually they gave her so much painkiller she just laid there and her breathing was so bad. Today at lunchtime my family and I decided we should remove the oxygen mask as the consultant told her it was just prolonging her death. Within not even a minute of taking it off she died. 

Her face is in my head, her eyes were open just looking at me. I couldn't even cry, my whole family were breaking down and I just couldn't cry. At first I felt happy, I knew she wasn't in pain any more. After trying to say goodbye that's when I broke down. Her eyes just staring at me, her mouth open covered in blood and her just not moving. One never felt pain like loosing my mum. I've taken her phone and I just keep reading her messages, looking at her photos or just holding her clothes. I don't know what to do. She was everything to me. We spoke every day and I've seen her every day since she was in hospital and now she's just laying there alone. 

I miss her so much. I've lost my mum at 28 and my children have lost their nan. I just want to hold her or phone her. Just hear her voice. I miss her so much I don't know how I'll get over this

 

Parents
  • My mum died on tueday. She had a brain tumour and in the space of eight weeks had gone from someone who at eighty eight was so full of life, going for long walks with her beloved dog and tending her beautiful garden, to someone in a respite home who was deeply unhappy, unable to speak, read or write. All i could do was see her every day and hold her hand and tell her how much i loved her. She was so brave and was more worried sbout me and my brother than herself. On her last couple of days she seemed to give up and even the nurses remarked how sad she was. I visited her on the tuesday and she was very tired and for the first time she cried in front of me and pointed to the sky and said she'd had enough, she clutched my hand so tightly and said to look after her dog and i promised to return tomorrow. Two hours later she died. We are absolutely heartbroken. I keep thinking back to how sad she was and break up in tears. Losing my lovely Mum was my biggest fear and now it has happened.

  • Hello Mark and welcome to Cancer Chat although I'm so sorry to hear about your mum.

    Our sincere condolences from everyone here at Cancer Chat.

    Best wishes,

    Renata, Cancer Chat Moderator

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