Lost my mum today

Today my mum died. She battled breast cancer and won and a few months after she got the all clear we were told she had liver cancer. That was in December last year and in March this year we were told 2 months. I was in such denial she was ill I was just so angry at her. She had good days and bad and was in hospital for weeks then out for weeks. She got called into hospital 3 weeks ago after a blood test found she had kidney failure. She had a stent and was being kept in to monitor the progress and if went well she'd get a permanent one. Last week, second week of her being in, she seemed to get worse. She collapsed in the toilet and was struggling to breath. Yesterday she went down for her stent and they couldn't do it cause she couldn't breath and they found a infection all around her kidneys and her right lung collapsed as the cancer had spread.

We were all called in yesterday and it was heart breaking. She was on a oxygen mask and just didn't know what was going on. Eventually they gave her so much painkiller she just laid there and her breathing was so bad. Today at lunchtime my family and I decided we should remove the oxygen mask as the consultant told her it was just prolonging her death. Within not even a minute of taking it off she died. 

Her face is in my head, her eyes were open just looking at me. I couldn't even cry, my whole family were breaking down and I just couldn't cry. At first I felt happy, I knew she wasn't in pain any more. After trying to say goodbye that's when I broke down. Her eyes just staring at me, her mouth open covered in blood and her just not moving. One never felt pain like loosing my mum. I've taken her phone and I just keep reading her messages, looking at her photos or just holding her clothes. I don't know what to do. She was everything to me. We spoke every day and I've seen her every day since she was in hospital and now she's just laying there alone. 

I miss her so much. I've lost my mum at 28 and my children have lost their nan. I just want to hold her or phone her. Just hear her voice. I miss her so much I don't know how I'll get over this

 

Parents
  • Hi Emma

    I totally understand your pain and am so sorry. I lost my mum just over a month ago and she was my world. I just don't know how to grieve. I just want to call or text her. It still feels like yesterday. The funeral and the time around it are a blurr. She called me her baby even though l am 44 only because l am the youngest of 3. She was the most special person l know. I still have no clue what l am doing and my dad is so lost and lonely. My sister is going through the same because she was our best friend and so young for her age. She died of lung cancer even though she never smoked. They treated her for 4 weeks and told her she was fine it was just scar tissue. It wasted months of my mums life she had left as she was comvinced she still had it. And she was right. She complained of a sore shoulder and kneck but they ignored her until its was to late. She went for blood tests and was admited to hospital due to high calcium. This is when we found out it had spread and she had a matter of weeks. I did not beileive it at 1st and wanted her out the hospital she was in. I got her moved to St Andrews hospice where she died on 10tg Aug. I am still grieving and don't know what to do. So l totallly understand and am here if you want to talk. 

    So sorry xx

Reply
  • Hi Emma

    I totally understand your pain and am so sorry. I lost my mum just over a month ago and she was my world. I just don't know how to grieve. I just want to call or text her. It still feels like yesterday. The funeral and the time around it are a blurr. She called me her baby even though l am 44 only because l am the youngest of 3. She was the most special person l know. I still have no clue what l am doing and my dad is so lost and lonely. My sister is going through the same because she was our best friend and so young for her age. She died of lung cancer even though she never smoked. They treated her for 4 weeks and told her she was fine it was just scar tissue. It wasted months of my mums life she had left as she was comvinced she still had it. And she was right. She complained of a sore shoulder and kneck but they ignored her until its was to late. She went for blood tests and was admited to hospital due to high calcium. This is when we found out it had spread and she had a matter of weeks. I did not beileive it at 1st and wanted her out the hospital she was in. I got her moved to St Andrews hospice where she died on 10tg Aug. I am still grieving and don't know what to do. So l totallly understand and am here if you want to talk. 

    So sorry xx

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