Hi Emmy, I know this is quite an old post but I just wanted to say I am sorry to hear about your mum please accept my condolences.i hope you have been coping trying to get through such a difficult time. I can completely relate to you. I lost my mum in September 2016 and it has just been a year. She initially battled breast cancer whilst I was only 14 years old. going through an operation and lot of chemotherapies she was cleared with yearly checks however last year she started having back pains and the doctors have told us the cancer has now spread into spine and liver. She battled very strongly and not once it came to my mind we would loose her. Doctors have never told us it will come I to an end they kept saying they will try different treatment and it will all be ok. I kept being in such a denial going to appointments with her telling her it will all be fine. Few months into her treatment the doctors were saying it is not working but they will try something else. Still did not say to us that we should prepare for the worse. in the end she ended up with lot of fluid on her tummy due to the cancer being in her liver. They took her into hospital to get the fluid removed but she lost so much weight and didn't seem to be eating properly. However to me she kept telling me she is fine because she was always so brave and didn't want me to worry. She always smiled and didn't want to worry me. They ended up letting her go home after almost 3 weeks and the next day she started being sick vomitting blood. We rushed her back into hospital but few days later my dad called me in whilst I was at work to say I need to urgently go there. When I turned up she couldn't breath and couldn't talk anymore. I held her hand and she looked at me for the last time. She was suffering so much I could not bear to see her like that. Few hours later we lost our beloved mom and wife. Nothing can prepare you for something like this and to date I was not expecting this. I lost her when I was only 25 years old. I used to speak to her everyday and she was my rock and to suddenly not have her around and hear her voice is absolutely heartbreaking. It has been a year and I am constantly thinking about her bad missing her. I don't really know how to live a normal life anymore. I have been going through really tough time at work and college and I am unable to tell my mum about anything that is going in. She would always have an answer and give advice and she would always make me feel better no matter what. She was an amazing mum and amazing person. I just don't really know how things will ever get easier. My dad is also not coping very well and we are not very close anymore. He doesn't really speak to me and we can never talk about my mum to remember all memories as he is too upset. I feel like the longer it gets the worse it gets. People say it gets better with time but I honestly don't feel like it will.

Hi Emmy, I know this is quite an old post but I just wanted to say I am sorry to hear about your mum please accept my condolences.i hope you have been coping trying to get through such a difficult time. I can completely relate to you. I lost my mum in September 2016 and it has just been a year. She initially battled breast cancer whilst I was only 14 years old. going through an operation and lot of chemotherapies she was cleared with yearly checks however last year she started having back pains and the doctors have told us the cancer has now spread into spine and liver. She battled very strongly and not once it came to my mind we would loose her. Doctors have never told us it will come I to an end they kept saying they will try different treatment and it will all be ok. I kept being in such a denial going to appointments with her telling her it will all be fine. Few months into her treatment the doctors were saying it is not working but they will try something else. Still did not say to us that we should prepare for the worse. in the end she ended up with lot of fluid on her tummy due to the cancer being in her liver. They took her into hospital to get the fluid removed but she lost so much weight and didn't seem to be eating properly. However to me she kept telling me she is fine because she was always so brave and didn't want me to worry. She always smiled and didn't want to worry me. They ended up letting her go home after almost 3 weeks and the next day she started being sick vomitting blood. We rushed her back into hospital but few days later my dad called me in whilst I was at work to say I need to urgently go there. When I turned up she couldn't breath and couldn't talk anymore. I held her hand and she looked at me for the last time. She was suffering so much I could not bear to see her like that. Few hours later we lost our beloved mom and wife. Nothing can prepare you for something like this and to date I was not expecting this. I lost her when I was only 25 years old. I used to speak to her everyday and she was my rock and to suddenly not have her around and hear her voice is absolutely heartbreaking. It has been a year and I am constantly thinking about her bad missing her. I don't really know how to live a normal life anymore. I have been going through really tough time at work and college and I am unable to tell my mum about anything that is going in. She would always have an answer and give advice and she would always make me feel better no matter what. She was an amazing mum and amazing person. I just don't really know how things will ever get easier. My dad is also not coping very well and we are not very close anymore. He doesn't really speak to me and we can never talk about my mum to remember all memories as he is too upset. I feel like the longer it gets the worse it gets. People say it gets better with time but I honestly don't feel like it will.